Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
Quotes to Explore
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I don't much care whether rural Anatolians or Istanbul secularists take power. I'm not close to any of them. What I care about is respect for the individual.
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I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.
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I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'.
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Gossip, even when it avoids the sexual, bears around it a faint flavor of the erotic.
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My grandfather arrived in Houston in 1942 as a refugee from Nazi Germany. He had lost everything - his profession, his language, his money - but the city welcomed him, as it has hundreds of thousands of immigrants over the years.
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It was my mother's idea. Her feeling was that I didn't have the intelligence to pick a trade myself.
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I will say this: I think 'Big Brother' is the biggest snooze known to mankind.
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Every teenager and everybody around the ages from 10 to 18 has to go through finding out who they are.
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Escapism makes a lot of intuitive sense - whisk people away from their cares with stories of a better life.
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I think it just came to a point where I made a decision to do better with my life and health. And that is only by God's grace because there are no guarantees.
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A liberal to me is one who - and it suits some of the dictionary definitions - is unbeholden to any specific belief or party or group or person, but makes up his or her mind on the basis of the facts and the presentation of those facts at the time. That defines what I am.
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It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'
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I learned that when you stand up for what you believe in, you'll get a lot of support. But there are always going to be negative things said about you.
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I'm not a gun person by any stretch of the imagination, and it's not something I feel comfortable participating in.
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If you eat something and get fat, you should be responsible for it. I think that is the attitude of the great majority of Americans, that you should be responsible for what you eat.
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I don't want to set the world up for surprises.
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Movies don't have borders.
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Like its Senate counterpart, H.R. 1908 is the product of years of bipartisan collaboration. And now, by passing S. 1145, the U.S. Senate has a similar opportunity to restore our patent regime to its rightful position of protecting inventors' property rights and spurring innovation. These are values that all Americans should rally behind.
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I love having wine with my meals. And if I splurge, I'm going to splurge big, because if I deny my cravings, it just ends up backfiring on me, you know?
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I've been married over 50 years of my life.
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A wonderful physical tie binds the parents to the children; and - by some sad, strange irony - it does not bind us children to our parents. For if it did, if we could answer their love not with gratitude but with equal love, life would lose much of its pathos and much of its squalor, and we might be wonderfully happy.
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I believe happiness is a chemical imbalance - it's a silly thing to strife for. But satisfaction - if you seek satisfaction, you can succeed. Satisfaction is knowing that you're doing the best that you can do; you're living your life to the fullest.
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I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written.
