Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

Jim Gaffigan

• Funny
• Comedy
• Medicine
• Opposites

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Quotes to Explore

• I don't miss acting at all.

  

  Zachery Ty Bryan
  • Acting
  • Miss

• The thing is that war is the opposite of negotiation. It's when you cannot negotiate, when you cannot talk, when you cannot reach agreements that then you have war.

  

  Ingrid Betancourt
  • War
  • Talk
  • Negotiation

• A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

  

  W. Somerset Maugham
  • Home
  • Want
  • Man

• When I find the right information, the Web is a blessing; when I don't, it's a distraction.

  

  Victor LaValle
  • Find
  • Information
  • Blessing

• The really clever people now want to be lawyers or journalists.

  

  A. N. Wilson
  • People
  • Want
  • Clever

• Long Kiss Goodnight has a huge cult following. They could make another version of that movie right now and make a lot of money.

  

  Samuel L. Jackson
  • Long
  • Money
  • Movie

• Conor McGregor is a tough competitor. He proved throughout the years in the UFC that he can fight standing up.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Up
  • Years
  • Fight

• Scotland's political identity was destroyed, and a huge Scottish emigration to North America followed the brutal Highland clearances. These included every layer of Scottish society, not just the remnants of the defeated clans.

  

  Tariq Ali
  • America
  • Society
  • Political

• I like to have something to base a role on.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • Like
  • Something
  • Role

• Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard.

  

  Ted Nugent
  • Life
  • Food
  • Quality

• I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.

  

  Florence Green
  • People
  • Time
  • Good

• My dad was my hero. And I got my personality from my mother.

  

  Magic Johnson
  • Mother
  • Dad
  • Personality

• I have encountered those who feel that libraries have served their purpose and are no longer needed. There are those who consider them a soft target when it comes to local authority budget cuts. In certain political quarters, there is a refusal to see that our public library service needs active protection.

  

  Malorie Blackman
  • Political
  • Purpose
  • Service

• Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant. I was going bald at 25 why not.

  

  Wayne Rooney
  • Why
  • Hair
  • Bald

• Language usage always has a political context.

  

  Jackson Katz
  • Political
  • Always
  • Language

• Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.

  

  Paolo Bacigalupi
  • Trying
  • Science
  • Words

• If it was all about me, I'd do a whole lot of pop records, make a whole lot of money, just rake in the dough. But it's never been all about me. It's all about being a voice for the voiceless. People who can't speak for themselves, who don't have a mic, don't have a say.

  

  Ice Cube
  • People
  • Money
  • Voice

• I've got a full plate, yes I do. That iPod, that's nice. A phone recorder? Nicely done. All right I'm a bit of a tech geek. I have a subscription to Popular Science and I keep up on all this stuff.

  

  Nathan Fillion
  • Up
  • Done
  • Science

• It may be irrational, but if you're local, the client often feels that, if worse comes to worst, they can knock on your door. They 'know where you live.' But when you're remote, they're going to be more suspicious when phone calls go unreturned or emails keep getting 'lost.' Stay on top of communications, and you'll reap the benefits.

  

  Jason Fried
  • Live
  • May
  • Lost

• I don't think that artificial intelligence means doomsday, and I think many new jobs will be created, too. However, it is becoming increasingly unlikely that these new types of jobs will favor low-income demographics. We need to address the needs of those who will be left out of the new job market.

  

  Jens Martin Skibsted
  • Job

• If you had to point to anything, it's when you've had as much success as we've had and are so close to winning a Super Bowl, at some stage you have an opportunity to think the next move, even if it's not consistent with all your previous moves, will be the one that gives you the chance to win the Lombardi Trophy.

  

  Jeffrey Lurie
  • Success
  • Opportunity
  • Winning

• What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.

  

  Victoria Beckham Spice Girls
  • Good
  • Funny
  • Him

• There's always something every night that I learn from reacting to what the audience is reacting to. You learn what to leave out, what to put in, if you need a little more comedy or more drama.

  

  Tony Bennett
  • Night
  • Comedy
  • Drama

• Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Medicine