Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

Jim Gaffigan

• Funny
• Comedy
• Medicine
• Opposites

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Quotes to Explore

• I don't miss acting at all.

  

  Zachery Ty Bryan
  • Acting
  • Miss

• The thing is that war is the opposite of negotiation. It's when you cannot negotiate, when you cannot talk, when you cannot reach agreements that then you have war.

  

  Ingrid Betancourt
  • War
  • Talk
  • Negotiation

• A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

  

  W. Somerset Maugham
  • Home
  • Want
  • Man

• When I find the right information, the Web is a blessing; when I don't, it's a distraction.

  

  Victor LaValle
  • Find
  • Information
  • Blessing

• The really clever people now want to be lawyers or journalists.

  

  A. N. Wilson
  • People
  • Want
  • Clever

• Long Kiss Goodnight has a huge cult following. They could make another version of that movie right now and make a lot of money.

  

  Samuel L. Jackson
  • Long
  • Money
  • Movie

• Conor McGregor is a tough competitor. He proved throughout the years in the UFC that he can fight standing up.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Up
  • Years
  • Fight

• Scotland's political identity was destroyed, and a huge Scottish emigration to North America followed the brutal Highland clearances. These included every layer of Scottish society, not just the remnants of the defeated clans.

  

  Tariq Ali
  • America
  • Society
  • Political

• I like to have something to base a role on.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • Like
  • Something
  • Role

• Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard.

  

  Ted Nugent
  • Life
  • Food
  • Quality

• I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.

  

  Florence Green
  • People
  • Time
  • Good

• My dad was my hero. And I got my personality from my mother.

  

  Magic Johnson
  • Mother
  • Dad
  • Personality

• I have encountered those who feel that libraries have served their purpose and are no longer needed. There are those who consider them a soft target when it comes to local authority budget cuts. In certain political quarters, there is a refusal to see that our public library service needs active protection.

  

  Malorie Blackman
  • Political
  • Purpose
  • Service

• Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant. I was going bald at 25 why not.

  

  Wayne Rooney
  • Why
  • Hair
  • Bald

• Language usage always has a political context.

  

  Jackson Katz
  • Political
  • Always
  • Language

• Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.

  

  Paolo Bacigalupi
  • Trying
  • Science
  • Words

• If it was all about me, I'd do a whole lot of pop records, make a whole lot of money, just rake in the dough. But it's never been all about me. It's all about being a voice for the voiceless. People who can't speak for themselves, who don't have a mic, don't have a say.

  

  Ice Cube
  • People
  • Money
  • Voice

• I've got a full plate, yes I do. That iPod, that's nice. A phone recorder? Nicely done. All right I'm a bit of a tech geek. I have a subscription to Popular Science and I keep up on all this stuff.

  

  Nathan Fillion
  • Up
  • Done
  • Science

• When you've experienced the real Marilyn, it's difficult to watch a movie about her.' I didn't want to have the memories of my experience tarnished in any way.

  

  Lawrence Schiller
  • Real
  • Experience
  • Movie

• Debt rolls a man over and over, binding him hand and foot, and letting him hang upon the fatal mesh until the long-legged interest devours him.

  

  Henry Ward Beecher
  • Man
  • Hand
  • Debt

• When I got into comedy, which was really for acting, I would see the guys who would be considered great today. They were great, but after a few minutes I could get kind of bored because they wouldn't move around. The dress code was boring to me. I didn't want to see the guy next door when I'm watching a performer. I wanted to see someone I would pay a ticket for.

  

  Andrew Dice Clay
  • Great
  • Comedy
  • Move

• Cultists do not want to admit they have been manipulated by charisma. Nigerian money scheme victims do not want to accept that they had been swindled. To accept those realities is to accept their own faults. Denial of our own weaknesses is something we all suffer from time to time.

  

  Pamela Meyer
  • Time
  • Money
  • Want

• One thing that I had to remember in my personal journey in the music industry and coming up in the music industry was how many times I was told no. I was signed, I was dropped, I was signed, and I was put on a shelf.

  

  Kelly Rowland Destiny's Child
  • Up
  • Music
  • Remember

• Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Medicine