Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
-
During workouts, I listen to Pandora, and I like the '90s pop stations. 'The Backstreet Boys' is fun!
-
I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
-
Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
-
As I've traveled around the country, it has surprised me how many times I've heard people in small businesses use that word 'saved.' I believe many small businesses would not have had access to credit and would not have survived without the $50 billion that we were able to put into the market.
-
Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don't need to be embarrassed of it.
-
Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
-
A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
-
I'm not a one-issue person.
-
Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
-
I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
-
I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
-
I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
-
There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
-
Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
-
The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
-
I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
-
I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
-
For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
-
I, marry? Oh, I could never bring myself to do it. I would have been in mortal misery all my life for fear my wife might say, 'That's a pretty little thing,' after I had finished a picture.
-
Compassion is not a popular virtue. Very often when I talk to religious people, and mention how important it is that compassion is the key, that it's the sine-qua-non of religion, people look kind of balked, and stubborn sometimes, as much to say, what's the point of having religion if you can't disapprove of other people?
-
Young man, there is America - which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories of savage men and uncouth manners; yet shall, before you taste of death, show itself equal to the whole of that commerce which now attracts the envy of the world.
-
There was a laughing devil in his sneer.
-
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
