Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
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I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
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Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
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Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
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A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
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I'm not a one-issue person.
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Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
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I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
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I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
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I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
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There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
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Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
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The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
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I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
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I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
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For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
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I deliberately, in a way, went for something that was a huge challenge and was a big period film. I was excited about the canvas on which I could tell the story as much as the story itself.
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I didn't go to the cinema a lot when I was young.
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I'm the only person that has ever run a principle-based legislative body.
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Freedom of speech is a human right and the foundation upon which democracy is built. Any restriction of freedom of speech is a restriction upon democracy.
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And from the moment that I saw you, I knew you was trouble, But I disregarded detour signs, And did not stop til you was mine. I guess God was like, 'Aight, fine.' Careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it in heaps. Try to give it back, He be like, 'Nah, that's yours to keep.'
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Let me say this before rain becomes a utility that they can plan and distribute for money. By “they” I mean the people who cannot understand that rain is a festival, who do not appreciate its gratuity, who think that what has no price has no value, that what cannot be sold is not real, so that the only way to make something actual is to place it on the market. The time will come when they will sell you even your rain. At the moment it is still free, and I am in it. I celebrate its gratuity and its meaninglessness.
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We did a lot of high school productions. My first was 'Twelfth Night.' I played Viola. We did 'Much Ado About Nothing' and 'Taming of the Shrew,' and a lot of musicals: 'The Wiz,' 'Bye Bye Birdie,' 'Oliver.'
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In the '70s, the newspaper guild managed to get people paid what they were worth, but the reporters suddenly became middle class. It's much more respectable, more uptight, and everyone speaks in guarded tones. And the writing isn't as good. We always had guys who were failed poets and failed novelists who did it to eat.
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I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
