Jim Gaffigan Quotes
You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside.
Quotes to Explore
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Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
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Even if we never cure a single disease, the Human Genome Project and other ventures will have been worth it.
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I'm fiercely patriotic, and the flag and the anthem is something that I really, really respect.
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I have been committed to carrying out my duties... in accordance with both the letter and spirit of all applicable rules of ethics and canons of conduct.
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You can't force chemistry. It's either there or it's not. You can't create it.
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When you experience a failure as a leader, don't hide it - talk about it. Your missed opportunity will encourage others to take risks.
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Unemployment, foreclosures, bankruptcy - the cure is not more government spending, but helping businesses create jobs.
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We are 100 percent responsible for the pursuit of holiness, but at the same time we are 100 percent dependent upon the Holy Spirit to enable us in that pursuit. The pursuit of holiness is not a pull-yourself-up-by-your-own-bootstraps approach to the Christian life.
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We know that 10 million more people will lose insurance in the next 10 years if we don't act.
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We get 150 notices a week for seminars.
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In this respect early youth is exactly like old age; it is a time of waiting for a big trip to an unknown destination. The chief difference is that youth waits for the morning limited and age waits for the night train.
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India is a vibrant nation whose strength lies in its commitment to equal rights and to speech, religious and economic freedoms that enrich the lives of all citizens. India is not only the world's largest democracy; it is also a secular, pluralistic society committed to inclusive growth.
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Pray as if it's up to God, work as if it's up to you.
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...and it is also possible, that Saadat Hasan dies, but Manto remains alive.
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Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.
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On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people - Muslims and Christians - have suffered in pursuit of a homeland.
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I'm having a good time. Managing my things takes a lot of time.
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Science trumps magical thinking: there was a reason the Incas called their mercury mine 'la mina de los muertos,' the mine of the dead. Building a life and a community upon principles that ignore such realities is doomed to fail.
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Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.
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When you're a parent, then you still have to commit to this concept of, "Okay, I'm basically out of action now for three months."
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Look at who people are elevating and deifying in the public eye, and ask yourself what those people have done to receive such lauding and what it is they haven't. When you look at that you say, okay, are these people being revered for something of merit, or are they completely hallow? Or even worse, are they being revered for something that is actually destructive?
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You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside.
