Jim Gaffigan Quotes

You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, "These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent."

Jim Gaffigan

• People
• Different
• Thinking
• Funny
• Comedy

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Quotes to Explore

• May He who holds in his hands the destinies of nations, make you worthy of the favors He has bestowed, and enabled you with pure hearts and hands and sleepless vigilance, to guard and defend to the end of time, the great charge He has committed to your keeping.

  

  J. Reuben Clark
  • Time
  • Great
  • May

• I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.

  

  Og Mandino
  • Light
  • Show
  • Darkness

• Here in France, I've seen some very good young designers, but they don't have this ability to be good businessmen, too. I think America gives you this.

  

  Carine Roitfeld
  • Good
  • America
  • Think

• Ask any teenage girl to describe her perfect bedroom, and you'll get answers like 'a room with a private phone line, a place to hang out with friends, and for it to be way-cool and funky.' Ask parents the same question, and 'a locked door that opens on their 21st birthday' might top the list!

  

  Candice Olson
  • Friends
  • Parents
  • Girl

• I never thought of Kim Basinger in terms of age. For me she embodies woman with her subtleties and intricacies. She's sensual and intellectually engaging, elegant with a very strong personal style.

  

  Camilla Belle
  • She
  • Age
  • Strong

• I'm not really a piano player, but I play enough to get away with it.

  

  Sam Hunt
  • Play
  • Player
  • Enough

• We have to change the kind of free trade deals we sign. We would have to change the absolutely central role of frenetic consumption in our culture. We would have to change the role of money in politics and our political system.

  

  Naomi Klein
  • Money
  • Political
  • Free

• You don't have to hit anybody on the head to be sexy.

  

  Eartha Kitt
  • You
  • Sexy
  • Head

• Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • People
  • Moon
  • Fly

• As a girl who was raised on the idea that we should give back to our community as much as possible, I believe that we have more power than we think when it comes to making change.

  

  Laura Marano
  • Believe
  • Power
  • Girl

• What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

  

  Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Never
  • Plant
  • Weed

• When we look around the world today, when we see in Afghanistan that 10 million people have registered to vote in their upcoming elections, including 40 percent of those people are women, that's just unbelievable.

  

  Laura Bush
  • People
  • World
  • Women

• Know your priorities and identify the five powerful action steps that you intend to take to move your initiatives forward each day. If you go to a tree with an ax and take five whacks at the tree every day, it doesn't matter if it's an oak or a redwood; eventually, the tree has to fall down.

  

  Jack Canfield
  • Action
  • Day
  • Fall

• I don't think it's possible to separate out the strands of a writer's history, circumstances, life events, and that writer's themes.

  

  Dani Shapiro
  • Life
  • History
  • Circumstances

• The Wild West attracts cowboys. A sheriff is a good thing.

  

  Cameron Winklevoss
  • Good
  • WIld
  • Sheriff

• I don't have many friends.

  

  Larry David
  • Friends
  • Many

• One of the peculiar sins of the twentieth century which we've developed to a very high level is the sin of credulity. It has been said that when human beings stop believing in God they believe in nothing. The truth is much worse: they believe in anything.

  

  Malcolm Muggeridge
  • God
  • Believe
  • Truth

• I would be concerned if any speech to Congress related any information that's new to the president of the United States.

  

  Ted Deutch
  • Information
  • New
  • Speech

• I grew up where, when a door closed, a window didn't open. The only thing I had was cracks. I'd do everything to get through those cracks - scratch, claw, bite, push, bleed. Now the opportunity is here. The door is wide open, and it's as big as a garage.

  

  Dwayne Johnson
  • Up
  • Opportunity
  • Door

• I wouldn't say I'm a connoisseur of film. I like certain films, but I don't pretend to be a connoisseur of films, no.

  

  Christopher Guest

• Sheep run to the slaughterhouse, silent and hopeless, but at least sheep never vote for the butcher who kills them or the people who devour them. More beastly than any beast, more sheepish than any sheep, the voter names his own executioner and chooses his own devourer, and for this precious "right" a revolution was fought.

  

  Octave Mirbeau
  • People
  • Revolution
  • Silent

• My greatest accomplishment is Exodus. It changed a lot of peoples lives, it changed the conception of the Jewish people in the international scene.

  

  Leon Uris
  • People
  • Scene
  • Accomplishment

• I don't think I can be expected to take seriously any game which takes less than three days to reach its conclusion.

  

  Tom Stoppard
  • Thinking
  • Game
  • Sports

• You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, "These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent."

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • People
  • Different
  • Thinking