Jim Gaffigan Quotes
We all take Mother's Day seriously and then it's like a month later, a bunch of kids get together and say, "I guess we should do this for the old man, too." Father Day's is weird. It's like celebrating Darth Vader's birthday. It's odd I think. Even the gifts we give dads. Like neckties, which are just like a silk noose. Or books. Would you ever want someone from another generation to give you a book?
Quotes to Explore
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I don't believe in societal restrictions. It wasn't a choice - conformity simply never occurred to me.
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My house looks like it was decorated by a 14-year old with a platinum American Express card.
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If you give what can be taken, you are not really giving. Take what you are given, not what you want to be given. Give what cannot be taken.
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When I see a dolphin, I know it's just as smart as I am.
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I want to give my followers a positive message. I want to give those girls a positive message who have been forcefully married, who continue to sacrifice. I want to be an example for those people. That's my aim.
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You can't tag me as a regional actress.
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It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.
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I dig all kinds of competition.
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I was born in New York City. But my family moved when I was still an infant. Except for a year and half when we lived in Youngstown, Ohio, I grew up in small towns in Pennsylvania. I graduated from high school in Farrell, Pennsylvania.
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I learned very early on in life that not everyone wants to hear every fact in the world, even if you want to tell them everything you've ever read.
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Any acceleration constitutes progress, Miss Glory. Nature had no understanding of the modern rate of work. From a technical standpoint the whole of childhood is pure nonsense. Simply wasted time. An untenable waste of time.
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All too often, the pitchmen are selling the notion that if you gain 'control' over your financial destiny - pick your own stocks and execute your own trades - it will be the first step on a short road to riches.
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My heart is mysteriously alive in the world of sounds - a totally different dimension from the daily life.
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Every company has two organizational structures: The formal one is written on the charts; the other is the everyday relationship of the men and women in the organization.
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If you don't find time to meditate and get all that negative out, and if you don't have the right people being positive around you, this is a very scary job to have if you don't learn how to control your fear.
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I'm interested in personalities, not political parties.
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Look at market fluctuations as your friend rather than your enemy; profit from folly rather than participate in it.
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For a while, I became an atheist; now that I'm grown up, though, I'm not hard-edged enough to be an atheist. Even though I live with a flaming atheist, I love going to temple. I love all the rituals.
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If the constitution goes, I go.
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For years, I swore I couldn't work out because my own sweat gave me a rash.
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There is a restaurant in L.A. called Crustacean, which is very famous for its garlic crab. Well, I can make garlic crab better than Crustacean. My sauce is so good you'll want to dip your bread in it, put it on your egg omelet, in your cereal, and in everything else.
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That's kind of how I approach life and football; why dwell on something that's hasn't happened.
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I always run without music. Being disconnected is what I'm addicted to more than anything. There aren't many places where you can be without your phone and computer. I've started to crave and enjoy that time alone.
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We all take Mother's Day seriously and then it's like a month later, a bunch of kids get together and say, "I guess we should do this for the old man, too." Father Day's is weird. It's like celebrating Darth Vader's birthday. It's odd I think. Even the gifts we give dads. Like neckties, which are just like a silk noose. Or books. Would you ever want someone from another generation to give you a book?
