Jim Gaffigan Quotes

When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

Jim Gaffigan

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• Kids
• Open Mind

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Quotes to Explore

• Most of the time, the lyrics are kind of like my secret messages to my friends or my boyfriend or my mom or my dad. I would never tell them that these songs are about them or which specific lyric is about somebody. Often, when I sit down to write a lyric, it is in the heat of the moment, and something has just happened.

  

  Imogen Heap
  • Time
  • Friends
  • Dad

• The fact is we can only love what we know personally. And we cannot know much. In public affairs, in the rebuilding of civilization, something less dramatic and emotional is needed, namely tolerance.

  

  E. M. Forster
  • Love
  • Know
  • Tolerance

• Insight enables you make sure you don't allow negative beliefs to get permanently set in your thinking - just the same way you wouldn't want fractured bones to be permanently set into place.

  

  Karen Salmansohn
  • Thinking
  • Want
  • Negative

• I want to give my followers a positive message. I want to give those girls a positive message who have been forcefully married, who continue to sacrifice. I want to be an example for those people. That's my aim.

  

  Qandeel Baloch
  • People
  • Positive
  • Sacrifice

• I will tell you with 100 percent confidence, Jon Jones is not deep in my head. The fact he actually thinks that, it makes me smile every day.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • Day
  • Confidence
  • Deep

• You know, I believe that technology is the great leveler. Technology permits anybody to play. And in some ways, I think technology - it's not only a great tool for democratization, but it's a great tool for eliminating prejudice and advancing meritocracies.

  

  Carly Fiorina
  • Great
  • Believe
  • Technology

• Being in a wheelchair for 30 years. I'm not whining about it because I don't dwell on things I can't do anything about, you know. I never really think about until somebody mentions it. I did take a bullet.

  

  Larry Flynt
  • Think
  • Know
  • Never

• 'Trolls' was a blank slate - there was no world, no mythology. We talked a lot about the Grinch and we liked how they showed his heart growing, but how do you show a photographable device like that for the Bergens? We ended up using color for a lot of that: desaturating and then pulling the saturation up.

  

  Walt Dohrn
  • Up
  • World
  • Heart

• Jesus is an example. We have other examples, including many of our ancestors as role models who understood the inner meaning of our orientation.

  

  Malcolm Boyd
  • Jesus
  • Meaning
  • Example

• I'm all about a flat shoe. It takes a lot to get me into a heel!

  

  Rachael Taylor
  • Me
  • Takes
  • Shoe

• I try to be this kind of player: the type who does something whenever he gets the ball. Sometimes in the past, I've gone through games where I've not touched the ball for 20 or 30 minutes.

  

  Eden Hazard
  • Past
  • Kind
  • Player

• I didn't understand key signatures or anything, you know. I'd say silly things at the top of a trumpet part like, 'Note, when you play B naturals, make the B naturals a half step lower because they sound funny if they're B naturals.' And some guy said: 'Idiot, just put a flat on the third line and it's a key signature, you know?'

  

  Quincy Jones
  • Guy
  • Funny
  • Silly

• When you work as hard as you can and as much as you can to make your first album, and you don't make any money, then you change things.

  

  Adam Ant Adam and the Ants
  • Work
  • Money
  • Change

• If the constitution goes, I go.

  

  Kamisese Mara
  • Constitution
  • Go
  • Goes

• I can only hope that my future movies will do well.

  

  Mahesh Babu
  • Hope
  • Future
  • Movies

• If you only believe that you're an artist when you have a big advance in your pocket and a single coming out, I would say that's quite soulless. You have to have a sense of your own greatness and your own ability from a very deep place inside you. I am the one with the litmus test in my hands of what people need to hear next.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • People
  • Believe
  • Single

• The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.

  

  Ursula K. Le Guin
  • You
  • Yourself
  • Questions

• It's the way you ride the trail that counts.

  

  Dale Evans
  • You
  • Ride
  • Trail

• If I'm feeling healthy - like, I've eaten well and have drank a lot of water and have clothes that feel good - I feel good.

  

  Jess Glynne
  • Good
  • Feeling
  • Water

• I always say to people, the Eighties were so inventive because people wanted to stand out. By the time we got to the Nineties, everyone wanted to fit in. It was all about having the same pair of trainers and the same pair of jeans. That's fatal. Whereas the Eighties you would never be seen in the same pair of jeans that somebody else was wearing.

  

  Nicholas James Bates Duran Duran
  • People
  • Fit
  • Jeans

• I felt as if I had blundered into someone else's life by chance, discovered I wanted to stay, then blundered back into my own, without a clue, a hint, or a way of finishing the story.

  

  Jeanette Winterson
  • Life

• The Planned Parenthood 7" project is an example of us putting our noses to the grindstone on and trying to make a little difference. Working on that was my way of handling my own emotions about Donald Trump. I was talking about politics for so long, I just kind of ran out of juice on that.

  

  Aaron Dessner The National
  • Politics
  • Emotions
  • Project

• I think of my books as mainstream and that's were most people who read them look for them in book stores.

  

  Jean M. Auel
  • People
  • Book

• When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Book
  • Kids
  • Open Mind