Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.
Quotes to Explore
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Hebrew is the language I use to thank the Creator and, also, to swear on the road.
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Anything that's made by humans is about humans, whether it's about gods or aliens or anything; it's about some sort of expressive nature about us.
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When I admitted I needed to grow old as a woman, it was a relief.
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A goal is a dream with a deadline.
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Tsars and slaves, the intelligent and the obtuse, publicans and pharisees all have an identical legal and moral right to honor the memory of the deceased as they see fit, without regard for anyone else’s opinion and without the fear of hindering one another.
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My parents even let me switch schools, to leave my regular school to go to the producer's school, because I told them producing is what I love to do, and it makes me happy to share my music and my passion with others. I was dreaming to go to that school. I begged them. They were like, 'Yah, know what? If you are happy, we are happy.'
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There's always opposition when you do something big. I do many things that are controversial. When people see it, they love it!
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There's a million people who can go out and play the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto brilliantly, but we're the only ones who can do 'A Little Nightmare Music.'
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I can't imagine I'll be the new George Clooney. That's not really on the cards.
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Like a kick in the butt, the force of events wakes slumberous talents.
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Yes, I'm a musician. I also like to play with others, sometimes more, sometimes less.
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Is there any other job that beats being an astronaut? Who didn't want to be an astronaut? That is my question.
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Underperforming hospitals or units should accept that they have to improve the service they offer or that patients, quite properly, will go elsewhere.
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The jazz clubs wind up having only rich tourists - the kids can't come. If they do, then they spend their entire monthly allotments on a 45-minute set.
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The people of these states were victimized twice. First they were victimized by the hurricane. Second they were victimized by the ineptness of the government response.
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I used to have insecurity about my finances, then I announced that I had debt, and now I don't have any insecurities.
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I'm most proud of my family.
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I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
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Steroids are for guys who want to cheat opponents.
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If you look at the early nineteenth century you see the idea that we educate children to be voters and to be participants in our popular democracy. And then at the turn of the century when more and more immigrants are coming into the schools, Americanization becomes a more explicit part of the agenda.
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No town can keep a man, but men keep towns.
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I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.
