Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
Quotes to Explore
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Nature is under control but not disturbed.
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God gets you to the plate, but once your there your on your own.
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I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.
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Almost all our suffering is the product of our thoughts. We spend nearly every moment of our lives lost in thought, and hostage to the character of those thoughts. You can break this spell, but it takes training just like it takes training to defend yourself against a physical assault.
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One can't write for all readers. A poet cannot write for people who don't like poetry.
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Arab leaders worry more about making money from the profits they get from oil and gas that they turn the other way when Lebanon is being destroyed right next to them. Their neighbours are being murdered, but they only make calculations for their own benefit.
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I was born in New York City. But my family moved when I was still an infant. Except for a year and half when we lived in Youngstown, Ohio, I grew up in small towns in Pennsylvania. I graduated from high school in Farrell, Pennsylvania.
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My MELD score was pretty high. And the worse you get on that scale, the sooner you get a transplant. It's based on how sick you are. And believe me, I was pretty sick.
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If my career path takes me elsewhere, that's great. But comedy is my forte.
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I've been writing songs since I was at least 20. That's what I wanted to do before I became a model.
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All of my songs are autobiographical.
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My father and my mother and my sister and I have always voted Republican, always.
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Creating a role is an interesting thing - each show or each situation is different.
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There can only be democracy when money is not allowed to be spent in Politics.
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I probably follow all sports a little bit. I like hockey quite a bit. I like football. I like college basketball when it gets down to March Madness. I like baseball. I enjoy them all. I watch them all.
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I myself consider myself the most powerful figure in the world.
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Using a dog as a narrator has limitations and it has advantages. The limitations are that a dog cannot speak. A dog has no thumbs. A dog can't communicate his thoughts except with gestures.
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It's not the winter that bothers me – it's the summers.
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When I was 7, I came up with the idea of 'charm socks.' My mom would take me to buy bags of plastic charms, we would sew them on frilly white socks, and I sold them at school.
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Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
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Emotions are the natural result of striving for something. Every single scene has two or more people in it, and nobody wants the same thing, so they are negotiating this one way or another. The result of that negotiation will bring out all kinds of emotional stuff in you.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
