Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
Quotes to Explore
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Nature is under control but not disturbed.
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God gets you to the plate, but once your there your on your own.
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I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.
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Almost all our suffering is the product of our thoughts. We spend nearly every moment of our lives lost in thought, and hostage to the character of those thoughts. You can break this spell, but it takes training just like it takes training to defend yourself against a physical assault.
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One can't write for all readers. A poet cannot write for people who don't like poetry.
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Arab leaders worry more about making money from the profits they get from oil and gas that they turn the other way when Lebanon is being destroyed right next to them. Their neighbours are being murdered, but they only make calculations for their own benefit.
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I was born in New York City. But my family moved when I was still an infant. Except for a year and half when we lived in Youngstown, Ohio, I grew up in small towns in Pennsylvania. I graduated from high school in Farrell, Pennsylvania.
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My MELD score was pretty high. And the worse you get on that scale, the sooner you get a transplant. It's based on how sick you are. And believe me, I was pretty sick.
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If my career path takes me elsewhere, that's great. But comedy is my forte.
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I've been writing songs since I was at least 20. That's what I wanted to do before I became a model.
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All of my songs are autobiographical.
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My father and my mother and my sister and I have always voted Republican, always.
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Creating a role is an interesting thing - each show or each situation is different.
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There can only be democracy when money is not allowed to be spent in Politics.
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I probably follow all sports a little bit. I like hockey quite a bit. I like football. I like college basketball when it gets down to March Madness. I like baseball. I enjoy them all. I watch them all.
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I myself consider myself the most powerful figure in the world.
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Using a dog as a narrator has limitations and it has advantages. The limitations are that a dog cannot speak. A dog has no thumbs. A dog can't communicate his thoughts except with gestures.
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It's not the winter that bothers me – it's the summers.
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People who are over-educated become risk-averse.
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A warrior carries his shield for the sake of the entire line.
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Fledgeby deserved Mr. Alfred Lammle's eulogium. He was the meanest cur existing, with a single pair of legs. And instinct (a word we all clearly understand) going largely on four legs, and reason always on two, meanness on four legs never attains the perfection of meanness on two.
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I'm really lucky to be married to a perfect person.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
