Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

Mallory Ortberg

• Fun
• Wish
• Internet

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• Is there any more encouraging sign than to see an Indian, who has never been to a university, like our friend Mr. Asutosh Dey here, for example, carrying out original work and finding it recognized by the foremost societies of the world?

  

  C. V. Raman
  • World
  • Work
  • Friend

• I'm not a power person. I like everyone to be on an equal footing.

  

  Jack Nicholson
  • Power
  • Everyone
  • Equal

• If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

  

  Adam Carolla
  • She
  • Think
  • Funny

• For me, it's actually really hard to write about my real experience. Like to do a Taylor Swift. You know what I mean? It's so brave to actually write about things that happened and things you wanna get off your chest, but I'm not really there yet.

  

  Zara Larsson
  • Real
  • Experience
  • Know

• I read people; that's one of my strengths. It's not that I can't be fooled, but I'm not fooled often.

  

  Jack Keane
  • People
  • Strengths
  • Fooled

• I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Life
  • Men
  • Political

• And you know when I was growing up, I knew I wanted to have kids, but I knew I didn't want to do it alone. Then once I was 41, 42, I had to accept that I probably wouldn't have kids unless I decided to adopt later on, but even then it would be with a partner.

  

  Rachel Dratch
  • Up
  • Kids
  • Growing

• I do not believe any president can bind a successor president to give up his fundamental role as protector of the country.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Up
  • Believe
  • Country

• I was relatively technically adept. I can edit and wire up a light.

  

  Ian Hart
  • Up
  • Light
  • I Can

• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

  

  Harlan Ellison
  • Universe
  • Two
  • Stupidity

• In fact - statistically, as you know - people have done polls, research, and at least 80 percent or more or working media are liberal Democrats if they are involved with any party and certainly liberal in their philosophy.

  

  Pat Boone
  • People
  • Done
  • Party

• I've always had a dream of owning a restaurant.

  

  Abby Wambach
  • Dream
  • Always
  • Restaurant

• I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'

  

  Victoria Pendleton
  • Girl
  • Like
  • Serious

• There's always room to volunteer. I think that's a huge space to be involved with.

  

  Halima Aden
  • Think
  • Space
  • Volunteer

• I've always wanted to make movies that are fever dreams.

  

  Damien Chazelle
  • Always
  • Movies
  • Dreams

• I always thought 'Rome' would change things for me, that people would finally understand what I do.

  

  Danger Mouse
  • People
  • Change
  • Thought

• Having a place out of the city is a shortcut toward the mental reset I need.

  

  Rachel Maddow
  • City
  • Place
  • Mental

• I have had strange animals as pets all my life. I was shy growing up, and shy people tend to interact better with animals than people. Animals are direct, not duplicitous.

  

  Yvonne Craig
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• We used to have championships in the streets with my friends, and whoever scored a goal was the happiest boy in the world. Now, every time that I score, I go back to being a child: the happiness of scoring a goal is unexplainable.

  

  Antoine Griezmann
  • Time
  • World
  • Friends

• I personally think that's incredibly therapeutic to just be alone in your own thoughts and not be freaking out.

  

  John Curran
  • Alone
  • Thoughts

• My first, my birth mother - her name is Queenie - she gave me a powerful medicine when I was a child. She told me that, "I was the best," and it helped me so much.

  

  Erykah Badu
  • Children
  • She
  • Mother

• People ask me if I have some kind of death wish, to keep saying the things I do. The answer is no: I would like to keep living. However, some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice.

  

  Ayaan Hirsi Ali
  • People
  • Death
  • Wish

• The president is always made fun of.

  

  David Alan Grier
  • Fun

• I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • Fun
  • Wish
  • Internet