Jimmy Carr Quotes
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.

Quotes to Explore
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All the evidence shows very clearly that if you are a member of a trade union you are likely to get better pay, more equal pay, better health and safety, more chance to get training, more chance to have conditions of work that help if you have caring responsibilities... the list goes on!
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My parents didn't agree with what was going on, you know, with the communists coming in, Fidel Castro. I didn't see the reason why I needed to go back there and be a part of that exhibition.
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Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it.
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Every teenager and everybody around the ages from 10 to 18 has to go through finding out who they are.
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Perfect partners don't exist. Perfect conditions exist for a limited time in which partnerships express themselves best.
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I still find it hard to understand that anyone could argue that you can't have machines that exhibit consciousness.
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I think everyone is forgetting what plastic surgery is for - if you have a face-eating tumour, lose a breast or are involved in a car accident, then it's a good idea.
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I choose projects that resonate with me on some personal level and projects that I'm afraid to do. If I'm afraid to do them, then I usually say yes, because it means that I'm not ready to go there and deal with certain aspects of the script. And that means that I need to do it, because the things that scare you only make you better and stronger.
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The vast majority of studies say anti-aging supplements don't work.
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I'm afraid that I'm either going to have to write myself something or direct something if I'm going to get somewhere.
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I like to see a film and then start scoring it in my mind while doing something unrelated. You just grasp a film and start working, and something unpredictable comes out from a third element. The mind, the more active it is, the more productive it is.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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I love entertaining people, I love playing music, and I love rocking like an animal. But at a certain point, you're playing gig after gig after gig, in town after town after town, and you're lying down, staring at another hotel-room ceiling, and it's like, 'I want to be home. I'm a dad. I've got kids.'
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Twenty-first century war adds new risks: more and more often there are no front lines, no central command, no rules of engagement - only a chaotic collision of politics, power, faith and bloodlust. Victims are as likely to be civilians as soldiers.
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I've made more than 50 records with a wide range of music. I've often veered to check something out.
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I feel the emotion that life conjures up and the songs I write get me closer to my feelings and realising who I am. It's a natural process.
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I have only one counsel for you - be master.
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Not being able to work would make me very unhappy.
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The magnitude of a progress is gauged by the greatness of the sacrifice that it requires.
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I was always in complete control of everything in my life and I was just so tired of having to do that alone. Not that I wanted someone else to take over my life for me or tell me how to do things, but when you're the only one accountable for everything, that can get old.
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I've always had a complicated relationship with sleep. Even as a little kid, I never wanted to go to bed - it always seemed unfair in some way.
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It was hard for me to hear anyone saying they didn't like 'Billy Madison.'
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If they don't score, we can't lose.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.