Maysoon Zayid Quotes
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I'm a person who watches TV all the time - all the time; I love TV. And I really think that the media heavily influences how we as a society behave towards each other. And one of the things that I find to be lacking on television are positive images of diversity.
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I'm not here to impose Sharia law, and I'm not here to have a message about disability being inspirational - I'm here to make people laugh. But when I can layer things and make people not only laugh but question, make people not only laugh but be offended... I have to do that.
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Forget Paula Dean; when it comes to on-air celebrity chefs, no one makes my stomach go pitter-patter more than Chef Anthony Bourdain. He is absolutely fearless.
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Palestinians are Christian, Muslims, atheist, Buddhist - you name it. And the majority I know have nothing against Judaism and everything against Israeli oppression.
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If you elect a religious party into power, you no longer have a democracy.
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Not wearing hijab has seriously, seriously hurt my career. Mass media wants to see a woman in a veil. But I think it helps me because it makes it easier for my audience to relate to me. I'm not the scary 'other' they keep seeing on 'Fox News.'
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Comedy is free therapy. And if it's done well, the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as the patient.
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I think that social media has really empowered bullies because you get to do it from the comfort of your own home, completely anonymously, with no ramifications.
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I'll go on '60 Minutes,' and whereas other parents would be like, 'You did a great job. I'm so proud of you,' my mother will be like, 'Your hair - it was not nice.'
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In the interest of full disclosure, let me state that I hate Hamas. They embody everything that I, as a human being, am fighting against: oppression, religious rule, and patriarchy. They empower Israel while dividing the Palestinians.
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Today, I am a touring standup comic who cannot stand up. Within three minutes, I begin to wilt, lose my balance, and topple over. I can tap dance and run in heels, but I need to use a wheelchair to navigate airports.
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It is easy to go vegan in Palestine, which is where I quit eating food with a face. The vegetables and spices are one of a kind, and you don't even miss the meat.
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I've had the same best friends since I was five years old; they're still my best friends. I was never bullied. I was never made fun of.
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I was able to walk at 5. I had to be able to walk in order to be mainstreamed into public school. And my father worked day and night to teach me how to walk. And I think what's so amazing about this is the fact that he was told that I would never walk. And he decided that he was going to try.
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I'm very much inspired by things that anger me. If I see bigotry, stupidity, or injustice on the news, I'm inspired to find a way to make it into something comedic and relatable. Anger inspires me. Stupidity inspires me. My family inspires me. My accountant inspires me. Everything and anything, really.
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I think we need a Muslim 'Bachelor' or 'Bachelorette.' I think that's what would be the great equalizer, and that would change everything.
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I spent my summers in a war zone because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna.
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I was the girl who did everybody's homework, but I was also, like, student council president and yearbook editor and, like, all-around overachiever. Like, I'm disabled, but I can do anything.
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The Palestine I know is a place where Christians and Muslims are equal. My mother, a Muslim village girl, attended a Catholic girls' school in Ramallah, and my refugee husband spent the Second Intifada side by side with his Christian brothers from Bethlehem.
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I think there's a backlash against minorities in this country and that part of what caused that was the fact that a black man became president. And a certain portion of the privileged population think their privilege is at stake, and they want it back.
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I shake all the time. It's exhausting and causes chronic pain in my joints and muscles. It is also the only life I have ever known. I use yoga, dance, nutrition, and breathing to help manage my symptoms.
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It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up.
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March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. Don't feel bad if you did not know that. I didn't, either, until someone recently slapped a picture of a green ribbon and a message wishing me a 'Happy CP Awareness Month' on my Facebook page. I always thought March was Women's History Month.
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We have been sold a Muslim boogeyman. We are buying into it, and we are terrified, and that terror is causing people to lash out at comedians like myself or women wearing hijabs, or anyone who seems to defend equality for Muslims worldwide.