Maz Jobrani Quotes
I am a standup comedian who has performed comedy in the Middle East in front of thousands of Muslims. And believe it or not, they laughed at plenty, especially when we poked fun at local culture. The Lebanese loved it when you would make fun of their driving and how, in Lebanon, a red light is just a suggestion to stop.

Quotes to Explore
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When you grow up in a place, you always think it's mundane. Then you travel around and live in different places, and you realise that you've got it the wrong way 'round.
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I'm sort of contrary and stubborn sometimes. When everybody says, 'You have to read this book! You have to read this book!' I'm like 'Oh, I'll get around to it.'
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You don't have to be desperate. Never be desperate. That is my slogan.
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It's quite rare that you find models taken care of backstage.
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It's a compulsion. I'm always changing parts of me. Even when I was young, I wanted to change my hair color. I was so determined that I dyed my hair with Kool-Aid.
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I firmly believe that any good journalist must essentially be temperamentally an outsider. I don't think full sense of belonging and security is conducive to creativity.
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Over the years, humans have managed to incorporate nearly every element, light and weighty, common and obscure, into our daily lives. And given how small atoms are and how many of them there are all around us, it's almost certain that your body has at least brushed against an atom of every single natural element on the periodic table.
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Hip-hop is making a lot of noise. It should get some more spotlight.
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I wasn't a ladies' man.
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I like being unconventional.
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What I really enjoy the most is seeing what the crowd likes. I enjoy making people laugh.
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There were so many groups that I had in college, but I was always the solo singer. But what made it so unusual back in the day was that I was a black girl playing with all these white musicians, and I was also singing rock music on top of it.
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I'm happy. I give thanks every morning that I can get up, that I still have my husband with me. I'm extremely grateful. After all, how many 93-year-old cover girls do you know?
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I'm very ambitious, but I also love myself - which means I try to take care of myself.
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Skateboarding was everything to us growing up. It changes the way you see the world: you spend all day looking for ditches.
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I'm not an ambitious person, there is no ambition in my life. I have a mission in my life. And my mission is to serve my country. And when I am working for my state, it means I am working for my country, or my nation.
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I like to play the weirdos. I like to play the people that are hard to like. You get to say and do things that you would never say and do in real life.
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I don't think the Republicans care much about minorities.
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We cannot afford idleness, waste or inefficiency.
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So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
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After I hurt the knee, football wasn't nearly as much fun. I was limited. But you make do with what you have. I adjusted some. I was lucky to play as long as I did, with the different kinds of injuries I got. I played with two severed hamstring muscles in my leg late in my career. I could barely run, other than to drop back to pass.
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My ambition from day one in this sport has been to become a world superstar.
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Away from the pitch, I'm a very calm person. I maybe have the odd cross word with my wife, like any relationship, but that's it.
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I am a standup comedian who has performed comedy in the Middle East in front of thousands of Muslims. And believe it or not, they laughed at plenty, especially when we poked fun at local culture. The Lebanese loved it when you would make fun of their driving and how, in Lebanon, a red light is just a suggestion to stop.