John Oliver Quotes
For the record if someone did that to me I'd hitch a ride to the International Space Station straight away; of course who am I kidding, they would never let me in, I've got spiders for hands! Internet is mean!

Quotes to Explore
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For every benefit you receive a tax is levied.
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If the television market collapses - and it will collapse - then, it seems, there is too much regulation, and that's not a good thing.
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Listen, I'm not a politician. I'm not a news reporter. I make music, and I act.
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Palestinian propagandists can say and do anything they please without concern for the truth, in the belief that if they repeat it often enough it will simply become the truth.
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He who improves an opportunity sows a seed which will yield fruit in opportunity for himself and others.
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Young people have so many letdowns that people don't realize.
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I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Fame came quickly. I was only 19 when I secured my initial recording contract and my first two hit records - 'Are 'Friends' Electric?' and 'Cars' - were number ones.
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I have come here only to share the voices and dreams of our children - because they are all our children.
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The things I enjoy most as I watch the movie are the things that came through without even thinking.
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I don't regret the passing of time. I try to live in the present, which should mean my life's full.
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Now, they hold the World Cup every year, so it's like any Super Series. It's boring. To me, it's very boring. I think the players will always attend the World Cup. But for the fans, and also for most players, the Olympics and Asian Games will become more important. Nobody will look forward to the World Cup with anticipation.
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I think awards are good for the movie. They can bring a new audience to the movie. I've always claimed that things like that don't get you work. Work gets you work. That's my blue-collar, protestant work ethic.
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I land a higher percentage of punches than any boxer in boxing.
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I feel like I work on scripts for comedy as well as dramatic stuff the same.
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I feel like you just need to keep writing until the writing itself just begins to take shape.
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Literary imagination is an aesthetic object offered by a writer to a lover of books.
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Our target is to win, not to try to make all the players happy.
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I used to have a rant all the time when things went wrong, at everybody around me, because you just have to get the frustration out.
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Learning to speak was the most remarkable thing you ever did.
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You don't have to find out what someone's mechanical abilities are. All those factors are already a known commodity. I've seen teams win championships and have their entire team quit the next day because they weren't happy.
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For the record if someone did that to me I'd hitch a ride to the International Space Station straight away; of course who am I kidding, they would never let me in, I've got spiders for hands! Internet is mean!