John Oliver Quotes
- All Quotes
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I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.
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For the record if someone did that to me I'd hitch a ride to the International Space Station straight away; of course who am I kidding, they would never let me in, I've got spiders for hands! Internet is mean!
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We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
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There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.
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You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.
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My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
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I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.
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People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.