John Oliver Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Clothes are a big part of a free society, I think, and what you wear is so indicative of the political climate you're living in.
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The message I like to convey to women and girls across the globe is that there is no glass ceiling.
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I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.
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Both sides of the aisle - Republican and Democrat - have been unwilling and afraid to address the deficit, and someone's got to.
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People know more about baseball players' contracts than they do about the policies that govern the fate of our children's lives in twenty years. Think about it. People used to say, the whole time I was growing up, 'Do you want to bring a child into this world?' That's pretty dire.
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Everybody in my band is a lion, and everyone's mastered their own domain... And we have a platform, and we have built it painstakingly and punched ourselves in the face every way we could to get where we are.
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This world was not created piecemeal. Africa was born no later and no earlier than any other geographical area on this globe. Africans, no more and no less than other men, possess all human attributes, talents and deficiencies, virtues and faults.
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I believe it is impossible to be sure of anything.
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I loved 'Monsoon Wedding' and 'Lunchbox' because they had 'real' stories. I wish there are more films made like them.
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I am a Republican because the United States is a republic, and the views we hold represent the foundation our country was built on so many years ago.
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I majored in Southern history in college, and much of my early work at my first job - as a staff writer at 'Memphis' magazine - focused on race relations.
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To end the pervasive culture of sexual harassment, it can no longer be the norm that men look the other way. It only ends when men actively participate in ending it.
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I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?'
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The carrying power of a bridge is not the average strength of the pillars, but the strength of the weakest pillar. I have always believed that you do not measure the health of a society by GNP but by the condition of its worst off.
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Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.
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Every retailer, when they price their goods, looks at their total cost overall. When they have costs go up, they'll price their products accordingly.
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I like to play what I call a-motional golf. Emotion doesn't grab me that much.
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You never get to pick how you get pinned and how people perceive you.
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I have an issue with others ordering for me, and I spend far too long haranguing people that my choices are the best. I apologize for the amount of conversations I have ruined with this attitude.
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The leaders of ISIS are canny strategists with a solid understanding of the strengths and weaknesses of the West.
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The first act is writing, the second act is filming, the third act is releasing. If you have to partake in the third act, it hurts the first act of the next one. It's like a prizefight. You get punched.
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The worst mistake of a woman is to go to the kitchen, because then she never gets out of there.
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Down you go, but all the while you feel suspended and buoyed as you somersault in slow motion like a somnolent tumbler pigeon, and sprawl supine on the eiderdown of the air, or lazily turn to embrace your pillow, enjoying every last instant of soft, deep, death-padded life, with the earth's green see-saw now above, now below, and the voluptuous crucifixion, as you stretch yourself in the growing rush, in the nearing swish, and then your loved body's obliteration in the Lap of the Lord.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
