John Oliver Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Clothes are a big part of a free society, I think, and what you wear is so indicative of the political climate you're living in.
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The message I like to convey to women and girls across the globe is that there is no glass ceiling.
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I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.
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Both sides of the aisle - Republican and Democrat - have been unwilling and afraid to address the deficit, and someone's got to.
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People know more about baseball players' contracts than they do about the policies that govern the fate of our children's lives in twenty years. Think about it. People used to say, the whole time I was growing up, 'Do you want to bring a child into this world?' That's pretty dire.
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Everybody in my band is a lion, and everyone's mastered their own domain... And we have a platform, and we have built it painstakingly and punched ourselves in the face every way we could to get where we are.
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This world was not created piecemeal. Africa was born no later and no earlier than any other geographical area on this globe. Africans, no more and no less than other men, possess all human attributes, talents and deficiencies, virtues and faults.
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I believe it is impossible to be sure of anything.
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I loved 'Monsoon Wedding' and 'Lunchbox' because they had 'real' stories. I wish there are more films made like them.
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I am a Republican because the United States is a republic, and the views we hold represent the foundation our country was built on so many years ago.
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I majored in Southern history in college, and much of my early work at my first job - as a staff writer at 'Memphis' magazine - focused on race relations.
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To end the pervasive culture of sexual harassment, it can no longer be the norm that men look the other way. It only ends when men actively participate in ending it.
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I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?'
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The carrying power of a bridge is not the average strength of the pillars, but the strength of the weakest pillar. I have always believed that you do not measure the health of a society by GNP but by the condition of its worst off.
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Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.
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Every retailer, when they price their goods, looks at their total cost overall. When they have costs go up, they'll price their products accordingly.
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I like to play what I call a-motional golf. Emotion doesn't grab me that much.
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You never get to pick how you get pinned and how people perceive you.
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My favorite pre-Ponzi schemer was known as '520 Percent Miller' because he promised 10 percent returns a week, or 520 percent a year. Of course he was just using new investors' money to pay old investors, and soon he was on the lam.
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We were never supposed to live until 40. We were built to self-destruct at 30, whether from cancer or mental illness. We're all going way beyond our expiration date.
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The woman's perspective is like the dark side of the moon: it always exists, but it is never exposed, at least not in my culture.
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They've been screaming about the death of literacy for years, but I think TV is the Gutenberg printing press. I think TV is the only thing that keeps us vaguely in democracy even if it's in the hands of the corporate culture. If you're an artist you write in your time. Moaning about the fact that maybe people read more books a hundred years ago - that's not true. I think the same percentage has always read.
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
