George Carlin Quotes

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

George Carlin

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Quotes to Explore

• The president is just the coach of a football team. You need the right support, the right stadium, the right players, the right staff. An excellent coach is not going to win games.

  

  Questlove
  • Team
  • Support
  • Football

• I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.

  

  Karl Pilkington
  • People
  • Up
  • Good

• If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

  

  Warren Ellis
  • Believe
  • Brain
  • Thoughts

• Hairdressers are a wonderful breed. You work one-on-one with another human being and the object is to make them feel so much better and to look at themselves with a twinkle in their eye.

  

  Vidal Sassoon
  • Work
  • Eye
  • Better

• As much as we need to approve the Keystone pipeline, we need to think far broader than that.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Think
  • Need
  • Far

• I would say colonialism is a wonderful thing. It spread civilization to Africa. Before it they had no written language, no wheel as we know it, no schools, no hospitals, not even normal clothing.

  

  Ian Smith
  • Know
  • Language
  • Civilization

• I'd love to be able to dance like Madhuri Dixit.

  

  Yami Gautam
  • Love
  • Like
  • Dance

• There are no original ideas. There are only original people.

  

  Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
  • People
  • Ideas
  • Original

• A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man's brow.

  

  Ovid
  • Death
  • Man
  • New

• Winning or losing of the election is less important than strengthening the country.

  

  Indira Gandhi
  • Important
  • Country
  • Winning

• What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell - I'll never know why!

  

  Adam Ferrara
  • God
  • Why
  • Woman

• Within a mere five months however, the mindless violence of 2002 had dealt us another unexpected blow. Innocents were killed. Families rendered helpless. Property built through years of toil destroyed. Still struggling to get back on its feet from the natural devastation, this was a crippling blow to an already shattered and hurting Gujarat.

  

  Narendra Modi
  • Violence
  • Blow

• But in cherishing all that is best in the land of your origin, and in desiring the highest welfare of the people of the old home, the question arises as to how that result can best be secured. I know that there is no better American spirit than that which is exhibited by many of those who have recently come to our shores.

  

  Calvin Coolidge
  • People
  • Home
  • American

• It was a harsh, rasping voice, in its timbre not unlike a sawmill.

  

  P. G. Wodehouse

• God is personal, but personal in an incomprehensible way, in so far as the conception of his personality surpasses all our views of personality.

  

  Karl Barth
  • God
  • Personality

• Twenty times in the course of my late reading have I been on the point of breaking out, 'This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!!!' But in this exclamation I would have been as fanatical as Bryant or Cleverly. Without religion this world would be something not fit to be mentioned in polite company, I mean Hell.

  

  John Adams
  • World
  • Reading

• Uttering a word is like striking a note on the keyboard of the imagination.

  

  Ludwig Wittgenstein
  • Imagination

• Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation.

  

  Laurence Sterne
  • Different
  • Writing
  • May

• La construction d'une machine propre à exprimer tous les sons de nos paroles , avec toutes les articulations , seroit sans-doute une découverte bien importante. … La chose ne me paroît pas impossible.

  

  Leonhard Euler

• You see, before I became prime minister, the Australian prime minister only attended ever two meetings in the world: the British Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting and the South Pacific Forum.

  

  Paul Keating
  • World
  • Government
  • Meetings

• Character is the salesperson's stock in trade. The product itself is secondary. Truthfulness, enthusiasm and patience are great assets to every salesperson. Without them, they couldn't go far. Courage and courtesy are essential equipment.

  

  George Madison Adams
  • Character
  • Equipment
  • Truthfulness

• Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

  

  Anthony Brandt
  • Family
  • Change
  • Things

• I went my whole life without winning anything and now all of a sudden after years of hard work my dreams were coming true all at once and I didn’t know how to deal with it. It felt like the world was changing its relationship with me but I had stayed the same.

  

  Adi Shankar
  • Relationship
  • Dreams
  • Hard Work

• Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

  

  George Carlin