Karl Pilkington Quotes
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
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It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
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People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door.
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Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.
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I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
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Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.
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I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
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That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.
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To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.
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With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
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I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
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A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
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I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
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When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
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I don't know what 'famous' is, really.
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People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
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I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this – two books, some television and everything – I'd panic, I'd be scared.
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We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.'
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I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.
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Chinese people age overnight.
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The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
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To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?