Karl Pilkington Quotes
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Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
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I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
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It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
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People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door.
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Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.
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People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
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To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
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I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
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Chinese people age overnight.
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I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.
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I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
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That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.
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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this – two books, some television and everything – I'd panic, I'd be scared.
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When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
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The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
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I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
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To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?
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I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
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With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
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We should all love animals.
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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
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I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference.