Karl Pilkington Quotes
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I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference.
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And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
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I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.
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Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
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People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?
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I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash.
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We should all love animals.
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It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
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I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.
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The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere.
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I've never worried about life's big questions.
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Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
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I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.
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I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.
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I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
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Me mum used to always have the radio on – even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school – constant noise, really.
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If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.
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I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.
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Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
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I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
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We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.'
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I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
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Comedy's really subjective, you know.
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I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.