Karl Pilkington Quotes
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
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We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.'
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I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
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Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
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If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
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A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
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It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
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I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
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At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.
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When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
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With acting, I didn't get much from it.
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It's like a pylon.
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Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
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People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
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You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
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I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
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I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
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I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
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If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people.
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I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.