Karl Pilkington Quotes
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Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
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They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?
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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
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Comedy's really subjective, you know.
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With acting, I didn't get much from it.
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Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
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All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
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I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
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I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.
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I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
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I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
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I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
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You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
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I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
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I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
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I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
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I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
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If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
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I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.