Karl Pilkington Quotes
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They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?
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I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
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Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
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If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
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A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
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It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
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At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.
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I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
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When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
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With acting, I didn't get much from it.
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Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
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It's like a pylon.
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I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
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You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
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People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
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I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
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I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
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I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.
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I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.