Karl Pilkington Quotes
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They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?
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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
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When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
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Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
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At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.
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I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.
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With acting, I didn't get much from it.
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I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
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All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
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I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
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I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.
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I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
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You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
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I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
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If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
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I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
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I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
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I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
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If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people.
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.