George Carlin Quotes

I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.

George Carlin

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm just a black hole for stuff. No one should ever hand me anything, because I get so easily distracted. I'll be like, 'Oh, look, something shiny!' I'm glad I never learned how to drive. I would be really dangerous.

  

  Florence Welch Florence and the Machine
  • Learned
  • Dangerous
  • Drive

• I've done comedy most of my career, which I love, but I wanted to expand.

  

  Katey Sagal
  • Career
  • Comedy
  • Expand

• It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.

  

  Mamie Van Doren
  • Possible
  • Prefer
  • Blondes

• Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

  

  Samuel Butler
  • Respect
  • Kind
  • Lie

• I'm rebelling against being handed a career, like, 'You're the next this; you're the next that.' I'm not the next anything, I'm the first me. I can't be myself, I can't just be Idris Elba. But that's just the nature of the business.

  

  Idris Elba
  • Business
  • Nature
  • Career

• As to which is cuter, a puppy or a baby, I'm going to say that probably depends less on the particular puppy and more on the baby. I've seen pictures of me as an infant and consider myself lucky that nobody ever offered my parents the opportunity to trade me for a beagle.

  

  W. Bruce Cameron
  • Parents
  • Opportunity
  • Myself

• I'm evangelical.

  

  Pat Robertson
  • Evangelical

• I wrote my first piano piece when I was in 4th grade.

  

  Abel Korzeniowski
  • First
  • Piano
  • Wrote

• Preacher is a book that somehow allows me time by its settling on it's characters, that sort of modern gothic western feel. You're not likely to see the boat veering too far from that.

  

  Garth Ennis
  • Time
  • Book
  • Boat

• Both my wife and I went to Harvard, and it's incredibly exciting that our son and daughter are going there and have the chance to experience it. There are many awesome opportunities at Harvard. That's one of its greatest frustrations - not having enough time to take the classes you want to take.

  

  Carlton Cuse
  • Time
  • Experience
  • Wife

• When I was eight, a hippie guy taught me how to meditate and gave me this scarf I was supposed to wear when I meditated. I still have it; it's probably one of the items that mean most to me.

  

  Sam Taylor-Johnson
  • Guy
  • Me
  • Mean

• Different directors offer you different things, and it's not necessarily the most obvious things.

  

  Malcolm McDowell
  • Different
  • You
  • Things

• You have good days, you have bad days. But the main thing is to grow mentally.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Good
  • Bad
  • Grow

• You don't have to do anything in the movies. You just sit there. Well, that's not entirely true. You do less.

  

  Sam Shepard
  • True
  • You
  • Movies

• A lot of times, I'll get roles where it's the dumb blonde or the cheerleader, and I just have no interest - and it can be a great movie, it really can - or the mean girl; those things don't intrigue me much.

  

  Maika Monroe
  • Great
  • Movie
  • Girl

• A goal is a dream with a deadline.

  

  Napoleon Hill
  • Dream
  • Deadline
  • Goat

• When I started in the mid-'90s, the goal was really to shoot for a film career and stay there.

  

  Gabriel Mann
  • Career
  • Film
  • Goal

• I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.

  

  Bam Margera
  • Today
  • Dad
  • Day

• It's torturous what my siblings put me through. I can take any Olympic final, I can fight in a world championship and fall behind and win in sudden death, but when it comes to my siblings, it's out of my control. There's not much I can do.

  

  Steven Lopez
  • Control
  • Championship
  • Siblings

• The nearest approach I have ever seen to the symmetry of ancient sculpture was among the Arab tribes of Ethiopia. Our Saxon race can supply the athlete, but not the Apollo.

  

  Bayard Taylor
  • Athlete
  • Race
  • Seen

• Travelers never think that they are the foreigners.

  

  Mason Cooley

• If you're looking for the safe choice, you shouldn't be supporting a black guy named Barack Obama to be the next leader of the free world.

  

  Barack Obama
  • World
  • Guy
  • Free

• The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles heel. But if you don't need money and you don't need fame, then you're free.

  

  Dana Carvey
  • Money
  • Free
  • Hurt

• I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.

  

  George Carlin
  • Free