George Carlin Quotes

I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.

George Carlin

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm just a black hole for stuff. No one should ever hand me anything, because I get so easily distracted. I'll be like, 'Oh, look, something shiny!' I'm glad I never learned how to drive. I would be really dangerous.

  

  Florence Welch Florence and the Machine
  • Learned
  • Dangerous
  • Drive

• I've done comedy most of my career, which I love, but I wanted to expand.

  

  Katey Sagal
  • Career
  • Comedy
  • Expand

• It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.

  

  Mamie Van Doren
  • Possible
  • Prefer
  • Blondes

• Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

  

  Samuel Butler
  • Respect
  • Kind
  • Lie

• I'm rebelling against being handed a career, like, 'You're the next this; you're the next that.' I'm not the next anything, I'm the first me. I can't be myself, I can't just be Idris Elba. But that's just the nature of the business.

  

  Idris Elba
  • Business
  • Nature
  • Career

• As to which is cuter, a puppy or a baby, I'm going to say that probably depends less on the particular puppy and more on the baby. I've seen pictures of me as an infant and consider myself lucky that nobody ever offered my parents the opportunity to trade me for a beagle.

  

  W. Bruce Cameron
  • Parents
  • Opportunity
  • Myself

• I'm evangelical.

  

  Pat Robertson
  • Evangelical

• I wrote my first piano piece when I was in 4th grade.

  

  Abel Korzeniowski
  • First
  • Piano
  • Wrote

• Preacher is a book that somehow allows me time by its settling on it's characters, that sort of modern gothic western feel. You're not likely to see the boat veering too far from that.

  

  Garth Ennis
  • Time
  • Book
  • Boat

• Both my wife and I went to Harvard, and it's incredibly exciting that our son and daughter are going there and have the chance to experience it. There are many awesome opportunities at Harvard. That's one of its greatest frustrations - not having enough time to take the classes you want to take.

  

  Carlton Cuse
  • Time
  • Experience
  • Wife

• When I was eight, a hippie guy taught me how to meditate and gave me this scarf I was supposed to wear when I meditated. I still have it; it's probably one of the items that mean most to me.

  

  Sam Taylor-Johnson
  • Guy
  • Me
  • Mean

• Different directors offer you different things, and it's not necessarily the most obvious things.

  

  Malcolm McDowell
  • Different
  • You
  • Things

• You have good days, you have bad days. But the main thing is to grow mentally.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Good
  • Bad
  • Grow

• You don't have to do anything in the movies. You just sit there. Well, that's not entirely true. You do less.

  

  Sam Shepard
  • True
  • You
  • Movies

• A lot of times, I'll get roles where it's the dumb blonde or the cheerleader, and I just have no interest - and it can be a great movie, it really can - or the mean girl; those things don't intrigue me much.

  

  Maika Monroe
  • Great
  • Movie
  • Girl

• A goal is a dream with a deadline.

  

  Napoleon Hill
  • Dream
  • Deadline
  • Goat

• When I started in the mid-'90s, the goal was really to shoot for a film career and stay there.

  

  Gabriel Mann
  • Career
  • Film
  • Goal

• I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.

  

  Bam Margera
  • Today
  • Dad
  • Day

• I don't know that I've ever been someone who's interested in existing on tour. I have a lot of interests and a lot of other things that excite me.

  

  Andy Roddick
  • Knows
  • Interest

• I started as an actor. I started directing because Steppenwolf needed another strong director.

  

  Gary Sinise
  • Strong
  • Actor
  • Director

• I have known Sepp Blatter, FIFA and football for a long time, and there are some fundamental values which FIFA and the ICRC share.

  

  Peter Maurer
  • Time
  • Long
  • Football

• I went to L.A. to become an actress, and I started from the ground up. I worked as an extra, and then I started taking this joke-writing class because it was free. I didn't want to be a comedian, but I was like, 'Free education? Yeah, I'll take a class.'

  

  Anjelah Johnson
  • Up
  • Writing
  • Free

• Democratic societies can no longer give religious fanatics a free hand to abuse and murder non believers. Such action betrays contempt for the basic human rights which animate any democracy with meaning.

  

  Armstrong Williams
  • Free
  • Action
  • Hand

• I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.

  

  George Carlin
  • Free