Jonathan Swift Quotes
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I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand.
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A favor is half granted, when graciously refused.
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Patience alleviates, as impatience augments, pain; thus persons of strong will suffer less than those who give way to irritation.
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Atlas, we read in ancient song, Was so exceeding tall and strong, He bore the skies upon his back, Just as the pedler does his pack; But, as the pedler overpress'd Unloads upon a stall to rest, Or, when he can no longer stand, Desires a friend to lend a hand, So Atlas, lest the ponderous spheres Should sink, and fall about his ears, Got Hercules to bear the pile, That he might sit and rest awhile.
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Religion seems to have grown an infant with age, and requires miracles to nurse it, as it had in its infancy.
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A lie is an excuse guarded.
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Let a man be ne'er so wise, he may be caught with sober lies.
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Your onions should be thoroughly boiled.
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If they would, for Example, praise the Beauty of a Woman, or any other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other geometrical terms.
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Lord, Madame, I have fed like a farmer; I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.
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Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced.
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In church your grandsire cut his throat; to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.
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A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.
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Arbitrary power is the natural object of temptation to a prince, as wine and women to a young fellow, or a bribe to a judge, or avarice to old age.
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Hail, follow, well met, All dirty and wet: Find out, if you can, Who's master, who's man.
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Surely mortal man is a broomstick!
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It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.
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In all I wish, how happy should I be, Thou grand Deluder, were it not for thee? So weak thou art that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.
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The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.
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An atheist has got one point beyond the devil.
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A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment?
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We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
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You cannot reason a person out of something they were not reasoned into.
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Come, agree, the law's costly.