Jonathan Swift Quotes
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The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.
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Surely mortal man is a broomstick!
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I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein our corn has miscarried did no more contribute to our present misery, than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which might indeed warm his fur-coat, but never bring him back to life.
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I used to wonder how a man of birth and spirit could endure to be wholly insignificant and obscure in a foreign country, when he might live with lustre in his own.
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We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
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It is likewise to be observed that this society hath a peculiar chant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply.
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I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me spade.
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An atheist has got one point beyond the devil.
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It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.
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Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.
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When we desire or solicit anything, our minds run wholly on the good side or circumstances of it; when it is obtained, our minds run wholly on the bad ones.
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You must take the will for the deed.
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How is it possible to expect that mankind will take advice when they will not so much as take warning.
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When we are old, our friends find it difficult to please us, and are less concerned whether we be pleased or not.
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Bread is the staff of life.
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Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
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For in that universal call, Few bankers will to heaven be mounters; They'll cry, "Ye shops, upon us fall! Conceal and cover us, ye counters! When other hands the scales shall hold, And they, in men's and angels' sight Produced with all their bills and gold, 'Weigh'd in the balance and found light!'
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We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
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Some men, under the notion of weeding out prejudice, eradicate virtue, honesty and religion.
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Let a man be ne'er so wise, he may be caught with sober lies.
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Pray steal me not, I'm Mrs. Dingley's, Whose heart in this four-footed thing lies.
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And surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
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In all I wish, how happy should I be, Thou grand Deluder, were it not for thee? So weak thou art that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.
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It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.