Jonathan Swift Quotes
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Surely mortal man is a broomstick!
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We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
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Hail fellow, well met.
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Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.
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I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me spade.
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Let a man be ne'er so wise, he may be caught with sober lies.
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And surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
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I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein our corn has miscarried did no more contribute to our present misery, than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which might indeed warm his fur-coat, but never bring him back to life.
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It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.
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Conversation is but carving! Give no more to every guest Than he's able to digest.
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When we are old, our friends find it difficult to please us, and are less concerned whether we be pleased or not.
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It is likewise to be observed that this society hath a peculiar chant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply.
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Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
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Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.
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Bread is the staff of life.
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Pray steal me not, I'm Mrs. Dingley's, Whose heart in this four-footed thing lies.
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When we desire or solicit anything, our minds run wholly on the good side or circumstances of it; when it is obtained, our minds run wholly on the bad ones.
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An atheist has got one point beyond the devil.
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In all I wish, how happy should I be, Thou grand Deluder, were it not for thee? So weak thou art that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.
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Patience alleviates, as impatience augments, pain; thus persons of strong will suffer less than those who give way to irritation.
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Come, agree, the law's costly.
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A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
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How is it possible to expect that mankind will take advice when they will not so much as take warning.
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Love why do we one passion call, When 'tis a compound of them all? Where hot and cold, where sharp and sweet, In all their equipages meet; Where pleasures mix'd with pains appear, Sorrow with joy, and hope with fear.