Carl Reiner Quotes
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I'm not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody.
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Can someone please explain to me what that was all about? I was backstage and didn't hear one iota of humor during that entire presentation.
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When I found out I could write I was shocked! I didn't know I could write.
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Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.
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When you denigrate people, they have two ways to fight back - with their fists and guns, or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing, they're not going to hit you.
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You'd only write what you know and what you know is what you do and the people you know. So you'd write about them or the people you have met casually. It's part of your life.
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My father was a watchmaker and an inventor. I saw him working in the house every day. The work ethic, I got from him. He worked hard and he never complained about it.
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We were all up there, Dick and Mary and Rosie and Larry Mathews and I looked around and I said, inadvertently, 'Look at this, we could do a show,'
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Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.
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Bob Hope was not a television pioneer. He didn't learn his lines. If you don't learn your lines, I don't take you seriously. We never had a (cue) card.
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I've done everything I've wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I've directed movies, I've done almost everything I've wanted to do.
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She was pretty and you never expected a pretty woman to be that funny. She didn't care that she was pretty.
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Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience.
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I only please myself. I figure I'm just one of many people. I'm not that different from anybody else and I don't have great language - I'm very ordinary.
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In the funeral home, I never heard laughter like that in my life. The audience was laughing on the screen, and we were laughing in the home.
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I'm signing the letter that says, let's be quiet when he gets his award and just sit there. I think it's very sad that this man is being honored and the people he destroyed are never going to have a chance to be honored.
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An attitude will give you heft.
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I certainly have warm relationships with people, but you choose the people you have those relationships with. There are some people I don't bother with.