Erma Bombeck Quotes
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

Quotes to Explore
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I remember reading the cruelest, most awful thing about my hair online. A person speculated about who I was as a person and even read into my personal life based solely off my hairstyle. He or she said I must be lazy because I have short hair. It was just devastating.
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There was a point where I really felt I had 'penniless divorcee lone parent' tattooed on my head.
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My wife, Caroline Spector, and I pitched some comic ideas to various publishers back in the '80s, but nothing ever came of it.
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While cheap products are exported to western countries, the waste is dumped mostly in China's back yard, contaminating its air, water, soil and seas.
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From my undergraduate days, I've always been interested in the major philosophical questions that don't seem to have an answer that everyone agrees on.
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And the basis on which we agreed to operate with them involved a manifesto, where it states that we proceed from different ideologies and policies. One thing that we insisted on was that they should take an oath to reject racism and discrimination.
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I have the same friends and the same bad habits.
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In Australia, there is a very famous show called 'Home and Away.' I was cast on that at 15. The day I started filming, my life changed.
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I always like to look at things and think, 'Would I be proud to bring my grandma and grandpa to come see me in this?' And if I wouldn't want them to see it, then it's not something that I should immortalize myself on film in.
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The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.
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My grandma and my mom are not happy about the fact that I am still a bachelor. It's not on my mind that I have to find the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It will happen the way it's going to happen.
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Is it a recent occurrence that women have tried to control when and if they reproduced? Absolutely not. By 2000 B.C., there was worldwide use of herbal potions to prevent pregnancy. Condoms were made from animal bladders.
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In Peru, if you gave somebody a little chance to do something, they took it to the furthest extent. They took nothing for granted. And here in L.A., you kind of get caught up in your own little dilemmas and your own little life.
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Washington is an endless series of mock palaces clearly built for clerks.
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I am not like my image; I take my work so seriously. Everyone thinks I just bounce in, but I study and everything has to be just right.
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The free market punishes irresponsibility. Government rewards it.
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Tell them the universe is too complicated a toy for a sensibly cautious being to play with.
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Love is a gracious host to his guests though to the unbidden his house is a mirage and a mockery. Now you would have me explain the miracles of Jesus. We are all the miraculous gesture of the moment; our Lord and Master was the centre of that moment. Yet it was not in His desire that His gestures be known.
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Your prudence, my wise friend, allows too little room for the mysterious whisperings of life.
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I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
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I have a very broad demographic, from the 8-year-old who knows every word to 'Ice Ice Baby' and the college kid who grew up on 'Ninja Rap' to the soccer mom and grandparent.
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Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.
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I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.