Erma Bombeck Quotes
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
Quotes to Explore
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Whenever you feel down, you can check on Twitter and feel better about yourself, because it's only people who like you.
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If we meet an honest and intelligent politician, a dozen, a hundred, we say they aren't like politicians at all, and our category of politicians stays unchanged; we know what politicians are like.
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Jobs mean freedom for workers to support their families.
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People are incredible creatures of habit.
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'...there were some things that were true, and some things that were trite; but what was true was trite, and what was not trite was not true...'
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One of the clearest indications of the impending loss of intimacy with one's soul is the failure to recognize the existence of a soul in those over whom power is exercised, especially if the helpless come to be treated as animals, and degraded.
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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
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I am always trying to put myself inside: Every dress I do, I think, 'If I were a woman, would I wear it?'
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You don't protect Mark McGwire. The only way to protect him is hit 70 homers yourself.
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Hobby Lobby has always been a tool for the Lord's work.
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Teachers need to be more inspirational. But it's also up to engineering to make itself more interesting.
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I don't really even go out that much now, except to walk my dogs, because I don't want to be recognised. I used to be a really friendly person, and now I just want to be invisible. I liked myself much more before I got famous. I was much friendlier and had more energy.
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Nowadays, everyone has a camera phone, and you have to be careful about being caught out there looking crazy and ending up on the Internet.
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Don't make jokes about food.
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If we want to protect people against dictators or repression or torture, don't you need that rule to be universal so as to not end up with a situation where we do so only when it is comfortable, profitable and safe?
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I know we should aspire to be higher philosophical beings, contemplating the universe and becoming more refined humans, but if all we did was think, then arguably we'd never have invented the wheel.
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No man is so perfect, so necessary to his friends, as to give them no cause to miss him less.
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A conductor can't be too arrogant with an orchestra and try to impose himself too much.
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Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig. I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
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My kids are nothing like I remember black kids being when I was a kid.
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There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take.
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I don't come from Lake Wobegon, and that world is not mine. It's not that funny to me. It's funny to other people, and I'm not judging it, but the world that I come from is not considered funny by other people as well. There's so much pain in it.
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One of the things we learned from that panel is the way poor communities use a library is very different from wealthy communities. But the way the library books are measured are by how many books are taken out. And people in poor communities sometimes won't take the book out because they're afraid to. They're afraid of losing it and not being able to replace it.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
