Erma Bombeck Quotes
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
Quotes to Explore
-
Whenever you feel down, you can check on Twitter and feel better about yourself, because it's only people who like you.
-
If we meet an honest and intelligent politician, a dozen, a hundred, we say they aren't like politicians at all, and our category of politicians stays unchanged; we know what politicians are like.
-
Jobs mean freedom for workers to support their families.
-
People are incredible creatures of habit.
-
In spring, the dead trees, roots, and animals come to life again exactly as they were, thus providing hundreds of thousands of examples, specimens, and proofs of the supreme resurrection.
-
The flower has no weekday self, dressed as it always is in Sunday clothes.
-
'...there were some things that were true, and some things that were trite; but what was true was trite, and what was not trite was not true...'
-
One of the clearest indications of the impending loss of intimacy with one's soul is the failure to recognize the existence of a soul in those over whom power is exercised, especially if the helpless come to be treated as animals, and degraded.
-
My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
-
I am always trying to put myself inside: Every dress I do, I think, 'If I were a woman, would I wear it?'
-
You don't protect Mark McGwire. The only way to protect him is hit 70 homers yourself.
-
Lawrence Ferlinghetti had a tremendous education as an artist and also an enormous knowledge of literarture.
-
Hobby Lobby has always been a tool for the Lord's work.
-
Teachers need to be more inspirational. But it's also up to engineering to make itself more interesting.
-
I don't really even go out that much now, except to walk my dogs, because I don't want to be recognised. I used to be a really friendly person, and now I just want to be invisible. I liked myself much more before I got famous. I was much friendlier and had more energy.
-
Nowadays, everyone has a camera phone, and you have to be careful about being caught out there looking crazy and ending up on the Internet.
-
Don't make jokes about food.
-
If we want to protect people against dictators or repression or torture, don't you need that rule to be universal so as to not end up with a situation where we do so only when it is comfortable, profitable and safe?
-
I know we should aspire to be higher philosophical beings, contemplating the universe and becoming more refined humans, but if all we did was think, then arguably we'd never have invented the wheel.
-
America won the Cold War by protecting our strategic resources from the threat of foreign control. We must bring the same attitude to our trade relationship with China.
-
Martin Luther King was a misguided leader. He worked to be recognized as the leader of black America when what black America needs isn't a leader, it is education.
-
One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.
-
I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.
-
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
