Scott Aukerman Quotes

So much of comedy is feeling comfortable with the point of view coming at you. So I understand it. There's people who I find hilarious now, but the first couple of times I saw 'em, I was like "What is this? I don't get it at all."

Scott Aukerman

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm a championship handball player. I'm a championship softball and baseball player. I used to be an extremely talented center in high school in football. I also dabbled in lacrosse and soccer. I'm really good at billiards, darts, shuffleboard.

  

  Action Bronson
  • Good
  • School
  • High

• Relationships, it seems to me, are timeless. What works between two people always works; what doesn't is always troublesome. Over time, people learn - or not - how to negotiate what's difficult, but that doesn't mean the misfit has gone away entirely.

  

  Rafael Yglesias
  • People
  • Time
  • Learn

• I always wanted to entertain. When I was little, I would sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush or my sisters and I would make shows. I always wanted to be on TV.

  

  Lacey Chabert
  • Always
  • Mirror
  • Little

• I have lots of friends and, like me, they're not married. So my kids have lots of godparents - men and women, gay and straight. My loft is always filled with people helping me out with them and loving them.

  

  Edie Falco
  • People
  • Men
  • Women

• I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.

  

  Langston Hughes
  • Life
  • Want
  • You

• For me, 'Moby-Dick' is more than the greatest American novel ever written; it is a metaphysical survival manual - the best guidebook there is for a literate man or woman facing an impenetrable unknown: the future of civilization in this storm-tossed 21st century.

  

  Nathaniel Philbrick
  • American
  • Future
  • Man

• I think it just came to a point where I made a decision to do better with my life and health. And that is only by God's grace because there are no guarantees.

  

  Natalie Cole
  • Life
  • God
  • Health

• My mother was against me being an artist. She just wanted me to marry a rich man.

  

  Yayoi Kusama
  • She
  • Mother
  • Man

• I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

  

  Jack Dee
  • Comedy
  • Doing
  • Become

• We must have the time to create strict rules so that property is not sold by Communist managers for a low price. They often get payments under the table to sell to the first bidder. This does not build public support for a market economy.

  

  Vaclav Klaus
  • Time
  • Support
  • Rules

• My thinking is lot more different with many actresses in the industry. I don't understand why people in showbiz put their profession of acting in the back seat after marriage.

  

  Kareena Kapoor Khan
  • People
  • Different
  • Thinking

• I go out and speak to women's groups all the time, and I say, 'Guys, you gotta laugh and find the humor in things. You gotta pass it on.'

  

  Vicki Lawrence
  • Time
  • Women
  • Humor

• A libertarian presidential candidate isn't going to win anyway, so he can afford to say that all taxation is theft, and it isn't the job of a libertarian presidential candidate to cook up new ways to commit theft.

  

  L. Neil Smith
  • Up
  • Job
  • Win

• When you do take the home pregnancy test, it doesn't quite seem real. But when you see the baby and the heartbeat on the ultrasound, it's so incredible.

  

  Danica McKellar
  • Real
  • Home
  • Baby

• There's so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn't make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike.

  

  Wanda Sykes
  • Good
  • Mom
  • Young

• About 13-14 years ago, I went back to my alma mater, Fairfax High School, and ran into the music teacher. She invited me to come speak to the kids about the viability of a music career. When I went into the room where I used to play every day in a big orchestra, they had nothing!

  

  Flea Jane's Addiction
  • Music
  • School
  • She

• I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Death
  • Become
  • Destroyer

• The essence of the conservative message should be we want a dynamic nation where anybody with nothing can achieve anything.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Want
  • Achieve
  • Nation

• There are plenty of African-Americans in this country - and I would say this goes right up to the White House - who are not by any means poor, but are very much afflicted by white supremacy.

  

  Ta-Nehisi Coates
  • Up
  • Country
  • House

• When I first was a part of 'The Monster,' I really wanted to put it out under my name, but no record label thought it was good enough - until Eminem liked it.

  

  Bebe Rexha
  • Good
  • Thought
  • Name

• That is our first amendment, freedom of speech. But I also believe that we have an obligation to the youth to be somewhat responsible in what we say on records. But I think that comes with age. I think that comes with artists growing up and becoming assured of who they are as people.

  

  Ja Rule
  • People
  • Up
  • Believe

• There are stories that people don't want to talk about that brought this music through.

  

  Ruth Brown
  • People
  • Stories
  • Talk

• I wasn't very good with people either until recently ... Turns out I just wasn't very good with myself

  

  Carrie Fletcher
  • People
  • Good
  • Myself

• So much of comedy is feeling comfortable with the point of view coming at you. So I understand it. There's people who I find hilarious now, but the first couple of times I saw 'em, I was like "What is this? I don't get it at all."

  

  Scott Aukerman
  • People
  • Comedy
  • Couple