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She can't just be a face, a body; there has to be more than that, some kind of connection. And I can't connect, don't want to connect, with anyone.
Tabitha Suzuma -
Family: the most important thing of all. My siblings may drive me crazy at times but they are my blood. They’re all I’ve known. My family is me. They are my life. Without them I walk the planet alone. Forbidden, Tabitha Suzuma
Tabitha Suzuma
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What else could he possibly have done? What choices did he ever have?
Tabitha Suzuma -
How-how can we make it against the whole world?
Tabitha Suzuma -
At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.
Tabitha Suzuma -
You've always been my best friend, my soul mate, and now I've fallen in love with you too. Why is that such a crime?
Tabitha Suzuma -
And I know how he feels—it’s so good it hurts. I think I’m going to die from happiness. I think I’m going to die from pain. Time has stopped; time is racing.
Tabitha Suzuma -
I don't know when it started - this thing - bit it's growing, muffling me, suffocating me like poison ivy. I grew into it. It grew into me. We blurred at the edges, became an amorphous, seeping, crawling thing.
Tabitha Suzuma
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The sight of such aching beauty would infuse his soul with pain.
Tabitha Suzuma -
At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window – do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
Tabitha Suzuma -
He shakes his head with a slow smile. You'd better be right. If the phone rings, I'm unpluggining it, I swear to God-“ You'd do that to your five-year-old sister?“ I gasp in mock outrage. For one whole night alone? Jesus, Maya, I'd sell her to the gypsies!
Tabitha Suzuma -
He will think Lochan wasn't loved, but he was, more deeply than most people are in a lifetime.
Tabitha Suzuma -
Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have.
Tabitha Suzuma -
If I keep breathing, then I have to keep living, and if I keep living, then I have to keep hurting, and I can't - not like this.
Tabitha Suzuma
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I feel like I'm going crazy: seeing you every day but never being able to - to hold you, to touch you when anyone else is around. i just want to take your hand, kiss you, hug you, without having to hide all the time. All those things every other couple takes for granted!
Tabitha Suzuma -
only a matter of time before it broke through our fragile web of denial, forcing us to confront the truth and acknowledge who we are: two people in love – a love that nobody else could possibly understand.
Tabitha Suzuma -
I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.
Tabitha Suzuma -
I want to tell her that I can't pull her down. I want to tell her that she has to let go of my hand in order to swim. I want to tell her that she must live her own life. But I sense she already knows that these options are open to her. And that she, too, has made her choice.
Tabitha Suzuma -
Even though I'm surrounded by pupils, there is the invisible screen screen between us, and behind the glass wall I am screaming - screaming in my own silence, screaming to be noticed, to be befriended, to be liked.
Tabitha Suzuma -
Before there was anything, there was Lochan.
Tabitha Suzuma
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I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?
Tabitha Suzuma -
At the age of five she has already come to terms with one of the life's harshest lessons: that the world isn't fair.
Tabitha Suzuma -
Otherwise I'll fall apart. I'm going to fall apart. I am falling apart.
Tabitha Suzuma -
I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you of all people. Throughout my life you were the one person I could turn to. The one person I could always count on to understand. And now that I’ve lost you, I’ve lost everything.
Tabitha Suzuma