Dane Cook Quotes
I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like 'AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!'
Quotes to Explore
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We are skinny; this is our work. There are lots of overweight people working in offices, but I'm not going to say, 'This girl is fat; she can't work in an office.'
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Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life.
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We don't really watch basketball in Australia.
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I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.
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I'm amused when Congress tries to place the blame on somebody but never themselves. I've never heard any of them ever say, 'I've made a mistake.' I do. I say I called it wrong. But they just try to find somebody to blame.
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My little circle of friends know how twisted my brain is. I'm constantly reading and people always think, 'Ah, we didn't know that about you', but that's part of my charm.
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Passive fatalism can never be the role of a revolutionary party, like the Social Democracy.
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There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.
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In Hollywood they're getting younger, but believe me, it's not the food. It's the plastic surgery.
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'Firewall' seems both scary and protective at the same time. And how often does that happen within one word besides 'military' and 'government?'
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I don't like running when I'm holding things in my hand, whether it's a dog leash or a baby jogger. My mechanics get all messed up.
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One should live between extravagance and meanness. Don't save money by starving your mind. It is false economy never to take a holiday, or never to spend money for an evening's amusement or for a useful book.
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People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
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I'll put the Packers' best players on defense. It's best for a team and good for its morale.
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Maurice was a silly man. Maurice liked being silly.
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Sochi will be my third Olympics, and I'm coming into these games in a stronger position than I've been in years past.
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I had a lovely, feral, free childhood - out and then come back when you're hungry or it gets too dark. I feel slightly cruel that I'm not offering my children the same.
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The Irish job was something that had to be sorted out.
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Why do I always want to sock it to you hard? Let you know what love is like when I’m keeping all my cards up on the shelf Where you can’t see them Why do I always want to keep it to myself?
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Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
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Only sterility is noble and dignified. Only killing what never was is elevated and perverse and absurd.
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If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
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Life is not a thing of knowing only - nay, mere knowledge has properly no place at all save as it becomes the handmaiden of feeling and emotion.
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I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like 'AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!'
