Dane Cook Quotes
I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like 'AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!'
Quotes to Explore
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We are skinny; this is our work. There are lots of overweight people working in offices, but I'm not going to say, 'This girl is fat; she can't work in an office.'
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Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life.
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We don't really watch basketball in Australia.
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I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.
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I'm amused when Congress tries to place the blame on somebody but never themselves. I've never heard any of them ever say, 'I've made a mistake.' I do. I say I called it wrong. But they just try to find somebody to blame.
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My little circle of friends know how twisted my brain is. I'm constantly reading and people always think, 'Ah, we didn't know that about you', but that's part of my charm.
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Passive fatalism can never be the role of a revolutionary party, like the Social Democracy.
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There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.
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In Hollywood they're getting younger, but believe me, it's not the food. It's the plastic surgery.
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'Firewall' seems both scary and protective at the same time. And how often does that happen within one word besides 'military' and 'government?'
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I don't like running when I'm holding things in my hand, whether it's a dog leash or a baby jogger. My mechanics get all messed up.
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One should live between extravagance and meanness. Don't save money by starving your mind. It is false economy never to take a holiday, or never to spend money for an evening's amusement or for a useful book.
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People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
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I'll put the Packers' best players on defense. It's best for a team and good for its morale.
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Maurice was a silly man. Maurice liked being silly.
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What kind of society have we become when children in a great city cannot rely on mothers or fathers for a bowl of cereal in the morning and a brown bag with a sandwich and apple in it for lunch?
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Sochi will be my third Olympics, and I'm coming into these games in a stronger position than I've been in years past.
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I had a lovely, feral, free childhood - out and then come back when you're hungry or it gets too dark. I feel slightly cruel that I'm not offering my children the same.
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Anyone can have bad sets. I saw one guy who I really love - I won't mention his name - gave a set that was really bad. And then one month later did the exact same set on our show and it was great.
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Indecision is a major time waster; 80% of decisions should be made the first time they come up
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We are so used to seeing women as victims of war to be pitied rather than survivors of war to be respected.
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I haven't done Vine in a long time, and when I first started, I just did stuff that I thought was funny.
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I'm happy, and I think being happy keeps you looking young.
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I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like 'AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!'
