Garrison Keillor Quotes
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Quotes to Explore
-
I just have a connection with sign language. I always thought the deaf community was a different community to be a part of. In high school, me and my friend took sign language.
-
We lived in Atlanta for a couple of years, and had a lot of fun, but my best work happens when I isolate myself. It's all about turning inward.
-
There's a long tradition of black folks pleading with white people. It's a tradition that emerges from political necessity, so I get it; I'm just not very interested in it.
-
My mom says that when I was a little kid, I always used to say I wanted to be an actor, but I don't remember that.
-
I think people appreciate honesty.
-
I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, 'Oh, it's fake.' But it's not about whether the guy wins or loses, it's about how he entertains you the whole time you're watching.
-
I smoke, isn't that terrible?
-
Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
-
How natural that the errors of the ancient should be handed down and, mixing with the principles and system which Christ taught, give to us an adulterated Christianity.
-
We use the same possessive pronouns for everything, but do we own our lives or sisters or husbands in the same way we own our shoes? Do we own any of them at all?
-
Usually, it's the guys who want to get better so they can get more playing time who are always in the gym.
-
A stronger yuan could lead to greater Chinese asset accumulation in the U.S. and elsewhere.
-
I have the potential to be very strong and powerful, sometimes angry, sometimes passionate. I also can be shy and withhold that because I am afraid. I don't want to freak anybody out with my passion... So I struggle with that all the time.
-
I changed that system in Florida when I was the Speaker of the House - I was the Minority Leader; I saw for 16 years the way a power system works.
-
It was treacherous. I think someone was injured. But I did love being there, we all did.
-
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.
-
There are a lot of people who consider themselves 'spiritual,' but that can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. I don't really talk about it that often, because there's too much talk in the world. Especially with Christians, there's more proselytizing than there is actual living proof of it. That's kind of sad.
-
What I would like to do is make sure every primary school child has a library card, so where parents don't get their children library cards, we'll see if we can get schools to step in and make sure that every child has one.
-
The belief that a person can and should only feel grief over one sad event at a time is a truly disturbing estimate of our emotional capacity.
-
People threw food at me and sang songs about how ugly I was.
-
Max Planck was one of the finest people I have ever known... but he really didn't understand physics, because during the eclipse of 1919 he stayed up all night to see if it would confirm the bending of light by the gravitational field. If he had really understood general relativity, he would have gone to bed the way I did.
-
A name, of course is like a piece of clothing, isn't it? It gives you an impression right away.
-
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.