Norm MacDonald Quotes
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!

Quotes to Explore
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It's hard to find an emblem of cultural, national pride that burns as bright as Israel's success in classical music.
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This is not a zero-sum game. We know that if we provide access and education, particularly where there are gaps in the market, we will create more jobs, we will create more growth, and we will create more activity in the U.S. market, which will be good for our economy.
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There is no bore like a clever bore.
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I can remember the first time I ever recorded my vocals on to a beat. Cat Coore from Third World - a legendary Jamaican band - had a little demo set up at his house. I'm very good friends with his eldest son, Shiah, who plays with me now. So we were rhyming over a track by the dancehall artist Peter Metro. I've still got it somewhere.
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I always put my fantasies in the realm of goals.
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I believe the Thai people are patient, and the people at least give me a chance to prove my ability to help them.
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I'd probably put myself in the top 1% in knowledge of blight in the city of Detroit.
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I used to lie between cool, clean sheets at night after I'd had a bath, after I had washed my hair and scrubbed my knuckles and finger-nails and teeth. Then I could lie quite still in the dark with my face to the window with the trees in it, and talk to God.
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I had never really felt settled in Brooklyn. I think it had to do with growing up in New Jersey and being someone who her whole life wanted to live in the city, and the city meant Manhattan.
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I felt that a number of people might have questioned my loyalty, but I continue to be a patriotic American.
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When you're editing, you're putting it together in a way that makes sense metaphysically. You're not inventing it, but you're finding the story that's there. You're making a play that's eventually going to go on stage and present itself to an audience. You want to show what happened, not exactly what you have evidence of happening.
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Mothers are not supposed to give guidance.
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I've learned that universal acceptance and appreciation is just an unrealistic goal.
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What agent is there other than the Creator of the heavens and earth who can know whatever occurs in our heart, down to its most subtle and secret thoughts, and illuminate the future for us by establishing the Hereafter, saving us from the countless suffocating waves of the world?
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I've seen it again and again in my consulting: Most teams are too large to be innovative, despite their leaders' best intentions.
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I started playing the ukulele in the year 2000. That sounds so futuristic saying it like that. The year 2000.
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I want to be like Bruce Springsteen or something, making songs that are relevant.
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Radicalization is very easy when you mock what people hold dear.
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You who have received so much love, share it with others. Love others the way that God has loved you, with tenderness.
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I just don't think I've ever been comfortable at public functions and selling myself as an entity.
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Harry Potter to me is a bore. His talent arrives as a gift; he's chosen. Who can identify with that? But Hermione - she's working harder than anyone, she's half outsider, right? Half Muggle. She shouldn't be there at all. It's so unfair that Harry's the star of the books, given how hard she worked to get her powers.
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Like the Earth, the Web is a less appealing place than it used to be. If I want attitude and arguing and meanness and profanity and wrong information screamed at me as gospel, I'll get in a time machine and spend Christmas with my family in 1977.
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I love presents, But since I've gotten older, I haven't really wanted anything. Christmas is about family.
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Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!