Norm MacDonald Quotes

Televised stand-up never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was shot on film.

Norm MacDonald

• Film
• Laugh
• Standup

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I've known Bezos for decades, since the very early days of Amazon, so it's no surprise to me that he's smart or willing to make big bets.

  

  Walt Mossberg
  • Smart
  • Surprise
  • Known

• I look at 'Death Proof' and realize I had too much time.

  

  Quentin Tarantino
  • Time
  • Death
  • Too Much

• I just cannot imagine why anyone would want to be really famous. You go to a restaurant and people are pointing at you and they talk about you and they whisper and it is very disconcerting; it is a very odd feeling.

  

  Jack Horner
  • People
  • Why
  • Want

• Throughout my life, I have valued relationships far more than the professionalism.

  

  Karan Johar
  • Life
  • My Life
  • Relationships

• Hollywood needs to recognise all shades of African American beauty.

  

  Gabrielle Union
  • American
  • Beauty
  • Hollywood

• There's no first impressions anymore. You go to a job interview, and they'll probably Google you. It's a shame - people should play it a little closer to the chest as far as what information they release to the world. If I'm angry about something, I'm not going to take to my Twitter.

  

  Patrick Stump Fall Out Boy
  • People
  • World
  • Job

• When I was a kid, I wanted a Chanel bob and bangs. My mom said no. I went to the salon anyway, and they said, 'No way - we are not going to do that to your hair.' So I did it myself. Big mistake. Instead of my bangs going down straight, they were sticking up like a cat. It was horrible.

  

  Camila Alves
  • Up
  • Mom
  • Myself

• I am pretty self-indulgent.

  

  Francesca Annis
  • Self-Indulgent

• I have been afraid of guns, I have sworn I would never use a gun on another person and so did not need one, and I have wanted to deny the existence of evil.

  

  Taya Kyle
  • Evil
  • Gun
  • Afraid

• I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.

  

  Eddie Trunk
  • Quality
  • Like
  • Genre

• Small debts are like small shot; they are rattling on every side, and can scarcely be escaped without a wound: great debts are like cannon; of loud noise, but little danger.

  

  Samuel Johnson
  • Great
  • Small
  • Noise

• Sometimes, it's just unfortunate you get injured in the game. But you can definitely take strides to prevent those things.

  

  Calvin Johnson
  • Game
  • You
  • Sometimes

• I am fighting my natural body shape to do what I do.

  

  Victoria Pendleton
  • Fighting
  • Body

• Tim on the show does a lot of that posturing, of course, and feels sort of threatened by women. But even at that, you do see him cooking, and ultimately he's a good father because he spends a lot of time with the boys.

  

  Patricia Richardson
  • Time
  • Good
  • Women

• To be an ideal guest, stay at home.

  

  E. W. Howe
  • Home
  • Guest
  • New Years

• When I was little, I guess I was just an ordinary kid. But then things changed when I was in junior high. You know, kids that become geeks become one because of something. Like, they aren't good at sports, or girls don't like them. I, too, for some reason, got into things like science fiction and, well, especially science fiction as an escape.

  

  Takashi Murakami
  • Good
  • Kids
  • High

• People want to imagine I spend every night going to premieres and putting on frocks and getting into limos, and yet I do that maybe twice a year, if that.

  

  Rachel Weisz
  • People
  • Night
  • Year

• I was interested in aerospace and flying, and the U.S. is really the best place in the world for flying.

  

  Kalpana Chawla
  • World
  • Best
  • Flying

• I finally gave up my little law practice and stayed home for about three years. You have to do what you can to keep the family going. But I wanted to get back to work. So I got another babysitter and went to work as an Assistant Attorney General.

  

  Sandra Day O'Connor
  • Home
  • Law
  • Littles

• For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

  

  Scott Adams
  • Career
  • Comic
  • Weekends

• I know I always had a lot of energy growing up and I had to put it somewhere. Theater allowed me to really feel things, to laugh, to cry, to explode outward. I could do anything and it was totally accepted and appreciated. If I hadn't gone into the theater, I probably would have been a psychotic killer.

  

  Faith Prince
  • Up
  • Energy
  • Growing

• It takes stamina to get up like an athlete every single night, seven to eight performances a week, 20 weeks in a row. And there are many young performers who only learn their craft in the two minute bits it takes to film a scene. You never learn the arc of storytelling, the arc of a character that way.

  

  Kevin Spacey
  • Up
  • Character
  • Night

• I'm a dark blonde, yes. I dyed my hair blue, then black, when I was 14. I thought the colour was more flattering and matched my skin tone. I don't think I'd ever change back unless it was for a film.

  

  Eva Green
  • Change
  • Film
  • Flattering

• Televised stand-up never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was shot on film.

  

  Norm MacDonald
  • Film
  • Laugh
  • Standup