Norm MacDonald Quotes
Televised stand-up never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was shot on film.
Quotes to Explore
-
I've known Bezos for decades, since the very early days of Amazon, so it's no surprise to me that he's smart or willing to make big bets.
-
I look at 'Death Proof' and realize I had too much time.
-
I just cannot imagine why anyone would want to be really famous. You go to a restaurant and people are pointing at you and they talk about you and they whisper and it is very disconcerting; it is a very odd feeling.
-
Throughout my life, I have valued relationships far more than the professionalism.
-
There's no first impressions anymore. You go to a job interview, and they'll probably Google you. It's a shame - people should play it a little closer to the chest as far as what information they release to the world. If I'm angry about something, I'm not going to take to my Twitter.
-
When I was a kid, I wanted a Chanel bob and bangs. My mom said no. I went to the salon anyway, and they said, 'No way - we are not going to do that to your hair.' So I did it myself. Big mistake. Instead of my bangs going down straight, they were sticking up like a cat. It was horrible.
-
I am pretty self-indulgent.
-
I have been afraid of guns, I have sworn I would never use a gun on another person and so did not need one, and I have wanted to deny the existence of evil.
-
I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.
-
Small debts are like small shot; they are rattling on every side, and can scarcely be escaped without a wound: great debts are like cannon; of loud noise, but little danger.
-
Sometimes, it's just unfortunate you get injured in the game. But you can definitely take strides to prevent those things.
-
I am fighting my natural body shape to do what I do.
-
Tim on the show does a lot of that posturing, of course, and feels sort of threatened by women. But even at that, you do see him cooking, and ultimately he's a good father because he spends a lot of time with the boys.
-
To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
-
When I was little, I guess I was just an ordinary kid. But then things changed when I was in junior high. You know, kids that become geeks become one because of something. Like, they aren't good at sports, or girls don't like them. I, too, for some reason, got into things like science fiction and, well, especially science fiction as an escape.
-
People want to imagine I spend every night going to premieres and putting on frocks and getting into limos, and yet I do that maybe twice a year, if that.
-
I was interested in aerospace and flying, and the U.S. is really the best place in the world for flying.
-
'Smallville' is like a Domino's pizza. While you're eating, you're thinking, 'This is good, and it reminds me of pizza, but there's not enough flavor in each bite.' That's the feeling you have the entire time with 'Smallville' - that it's just about to be good, but it never is.
-
But nowadays hymns are the norm, because people don't have much else to sing.
-
The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-
Do you not know that King Kong the first was just three foot six inches tall? He only came up to Faye Wray's belly button! If God could do the tricks that we can do he'd be a happy man!
-
Extremes meet', as the whiting said with its tail in its mouth.
-
Televised stand-up never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was shot on film.
