Norm MacDonald Quotes
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

Quotes to Explore
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I don't blame other people for the rap that Christians have. A lot of Christians are just mental. A lot of Christians are more concerned with telling you where you're gonna go when you die than what you can have while you're here.
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Cinema is changing every week, and multiplex audiences are demanding every week.
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In Paris, you're as far as possible from the land of pleasant smiles.
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Long after the bomb falls and you and your good deeds are gone, cockroaches will still be here, prowling the streets like armored cars.
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A lot of people have asked me whether I am a cynic or take a cynical view of politics and are often surprised when I say that I consider myself an optimist, but an optimist dressed in the robes of a realist.
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Being attractive, it's not something I do consciously. It's incredibly flattering that people think I appeal to women. But that was a gift from my parents.
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I love pop music. I love drum and bass, Calvin Harris, all these electronic things, but it's nice to have something organic as well.
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I just like putting outfits together without much thought and seeing what the outcome is.
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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I want to promote the introduction of art history in primary schools and to convince the general public that, even in a period of economic crisis, arts funding is an absolute necessity at the federal, state, and local levels.
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My motto is: more good times.
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I'm a massive fan of Drake, and we walked right past him. He's too cool to be clapping One Direction though.
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Normally I would not recommend a book that tells you how to make money in the stock market. Most of these books are aimed at gullible folk, and they usually make much more money for their authors than they do for the investing public.
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Every time I write a book, I've probably taken five years off my life.
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I was a pretty good imitator of Roy Acuff, but then I found out they already had a Roy Acuff, so I started singin' like myself.
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It's not that I am not emotional, but I am extremely secure and curb it, as I am afraid to let go and be broken. So, I have cultivated myself to be detached in life, specially where movies are concerned.
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New Orleans, more than many places I know, actually tangibly lives its culture. It's not just a residual of life; it's a part of life. Music is at every major milestone of our life: birth, marriage, death. It's our culture.
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Americans spend more money on Botox, face lifts and tummy tucks than on the age-old scourges of polio, small pox and malaria.
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We can appear to be tough as nails, but guys have a level of insecurity and vulnerability that's exponentially bigger than you think. With the primal urge to be alpha comes extreme heartbreak. The harder we fight, the harder we fall.
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There is no hope for my life if I am ever returned to Belize.
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Since terrorists are pouring into Iraq in response to calls from international terrorist networks, the number of those who are killed is especially important, for these are people who will no longer be around to launch more attacks on American soil. Iraq has become a magnet for enemies of the United States, a place where they can be killed wholesale, thousands of miles away.
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I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.
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Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.
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When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.