Mitch Hedberg Quotes
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Quotes to Explore
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I consider myself a blue-collar actor, just chugging away.
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Anyone who knows me knows what I'm about - how much I'm into empowerment, equal rights and everyone just loving themselves.
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My job is to train hard, go fight, and do my best.
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It wasn't until the first season ended that I went to my first Star Trek convention. It was in Denver. There were two and a half thousand people there.
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Each of our 900 shows so far was different - maybe that's what makes the fans come back to our gigs time and again. And that they're always part of the show. Phish concerts are a communal experience.
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I will never support any tax increase on middle-income earners, ever... If you're not going to eliminate loopholes and exemptions, then I wouldn't support lowering rates.
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We have accepted the principle of democracy and we are committed to respect the popular verdict and the result of that national consultation.
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I like 'Sponge Bob' and 'The Last Airbender.' I like shows where people get creative to do the impossible.
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This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands.
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Even when a person has all of life's comforts - good food, good shelter, a companion - he or she can still become unhappy when encountering a tragic situation.
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Google never knew how successful key words would be. Facebook didn't know how successful Zynga would be.
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If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.
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I've had money thrown onstage, dollars, couple of five-dollar bills. I took the money, but it wasn't much.
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When I stopped eating meat, I fell in love with East Indian food - there's so much selection, and they use the most beautiful spices.
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Seth Green, he and I are trying to figure out how this all came about. Because we don't remember what came first, the chicken or the egg, no pun intended. But I don't remember what came first, 'Robot Chicken' or our friendship, because we've known each other for so long.
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It no longer counts as remarkable that Egyptians organized their uprising on social media.
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Criminals are never very amusing. It's because they're failures. Those who make real money aren't counted as criminals. This is a class distinction, not an ethical problem.
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I am an honest, straight guy.
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Getting money is not all a man's business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.
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I'll tell you why I like the cigarette business. … It costs a penny to make. Sell it for a dollar. It's addictive. And there's fantastic brand loyalty.
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We have to change public perception of ex-convicts. Most Canadians don't realize that when you come out of prison, you're a complete pariah. You can't get a car loan or money from a bank to start a business. So most end up back in prison within 24 months. It's just so wrong. We need to fix this problem.
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Tech is all about building human connections.
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It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt.
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I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
