Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

Mitch Hedberg

• Coming
• Exactly
• Headlights

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Quotes to Explore

• When people who love the ocean come together, they can achieve extraordinary things.

  

  Frances Beinecke
  • People
  • Love
  • Together

• I miss my horse. He's in Los Angeles.

  

  Zosia Mamet
  • Horse
  • Miss
  • Los Angeles

• What's better? Dogs or broomsticks? I mean will the world really ever know?

  

  Larry Bird
  • World
  • Know
  • Better

• Cats are the lap-dancers of the animal world. Soon as you stop shelling out, they move on, find another lap. They're furry little sociopaths. Pretty and slick -- in love with themselves. When's the last time you saw a seeing-eye cat?

  

  Andrew Vachss
  • Time
  • World
  • Pretty

• The full meaning of a language is never translatable into another. We may speak several languages but one of them always remains the one in which we live. In order completely to assimilate a language it would be necessary to make the world which it expresses one's own and one never does belong to two worlds at once.

  

  Maurice Merleau-Ponty
  • Language
  • Remains
  • Expresses

• The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.

  

  Sandra Bernhard
  • Different
  • Night
  • Albums

• One of the bitterest ironies of life is that one truly appreciates a blessing only after having been deprived of it or imagining that.

  

  Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi
  • Blessing
  • Deprived
  • Appreciates

• People who can actually challenge me and push me and almost push me to breaking point and extract a performance out of me, I really enjoy that.

  

  Aditi Rao Hydari
  • People
  • Challenge
  • Push

• The happy sequence culminating in fellowship with God is penitence, pardon, and peace - the first we offer, the second we accept, and the third we inherit.

  

  Charles Brent
  • Firsts
  • Accepting
  • Offers

• I don't regret not coming out early. A lot of people felt that I could have been a lottery pick, but we'll never know.

  

  Michael Finley
  • People
  • Never
  • Coming

• I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.

  

  Sandra Bernhard
  • Dad
  • Comedy
  • Wife

• In the past, in the '60s and '70s, genres were much more segmented. You had action guys who were deadly serious about it, and I think you had comics that were comics.

  

  Adam McKay
  • Think
  • Past
  • Action

• In other restaurants you'll see employees signing to each other, since we also hire many deaf men and women.

  

  Carl Karcher
  • Men
  • Women
  • Employees

• I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

  

  Mitch Hedberg
  • Coming
  • Exactly
  • Headlights