Tom Lehrer Quotes
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
Quotes to Explore
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The kindest word to describe my performance in school was Sloth.
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The three theater peeps I would love to dine with are Mel Brooks, because he is so funny; Stephen Sondheim, because he is a god-like genius; and Ethel Merman, to compare notes on fabulous belting.
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Playing music is a beautiful thing. But listening to music is just as great.
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Cotton Mather's publications in his own lifetime amounted to more than 400 titles, and his magnum opus, on which he labored most of his life, remains unpublished: a commentary on every verse of every book of the Bible. Anyone who leaves that kind of record behind issues an irresistible invitation to historians.
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Not all offers I get are exciting and inspiring. I would rather sit at home and not work than jump into mediocrity for the sake of just moving ahead. If it's a good script, I would sacrifice my personal time and grab it.
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I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
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Men are irrelevant.
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I'm a Wisconsin kid, so I like brats and burgers and stuff like that. Cheese curds.
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I don't look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.
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But it's not just a game of finding literary references.
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The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.
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In 'Billy Madison,' I worked with Adam before anyone really knew he was Adam Sandler.
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When you return to your homes rise up to the height of a generation of men worthy of a free Government, and we will carry out the great work we have commenced. I return to you my sincere thanks, soldiers, for the honor you have done me this afternoon.
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I lose faith and I lose ground, but then I see you and remember unconditional love.
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The much-hyped Ares 1-X was much ado about nothing.
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Our circumstances are the means God uses to exhibit just how wonderfully perfect and extraordinarily pure His Son is.
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You can't be sensitive, ... and play baseball.
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I'm being driven crazy by people who are obsessed with limiting the scope of government, but feel perfectly free to demand that government get involved in women's most personal choices.
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One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, since there was a gay secretary, but that wasn't even the issue of the show-the issue was Homer's image changing because he had hair.
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The person who said money is the root of all evil just flat out didn't have any.
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When I am consumed by my problems-stressed out about my life, my family, and my job-I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
