Andy Borowitz Quotes

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Andy Borowitz

• Republicans
• Liked
• Baby Jesus

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Quotes to Explore

• I was an athlete, so I hung out with the jocks. I was smart, so I hung out with the nerdy kids. I was also into theater, so I hung out with the misfits... So I was always in different groups, and those groups never quite overlapped. The racial part of it was just another one of those groups, in one sense.

  

  Larry Wilmore
  • Different
  • Kids
  • Smart

• No matter what a woman's appearance may be, it will be used to undermine what she is saying and taken to individualize - as her personal problem - observations she makes about the beauty myth in society.

  

  Naomi Wolf
  • May
  • She
  • Society

• One of the biggest things that happens to many people when they have kids is that you suddenly realize that you're not going to last forever. You know there is another generation who are the heroes of their own stories, and that is humbling.

  

  Ira Sachs
  • People
  • Kids
  • Know

• I'm an international actor, but at the same time, I'm also a Bollywood actor, even though most of my career has been abroad. However, I've always kept in touch with Hindi cinema.

  

  Kabir Bedi
  • Time
  • Career
  • Same

• I didn't understand the advantages of staying active until I was about 27.

  

  Olivier Theyskens
  • Understand
  • Active
  • Staying

• I'm Louis the Tommo Tomlinson!

  

  Louis Tomlinson One Direction
  • Myself

• The new year has begun for us. / Now must God grant us with love / That we may be able so to begin it / That it may be of value for Love.

  

  Hadewijch
  • God
  • May
  • Value

• My daughter introduced me to myself.

  

  Beyonce Destiny's Child
  • Daughter
  • My Daughter

• I recently read that it's the left brain that does all that calculating, and the right brain that does the poetry. Somehow I've veered way towards the left. I've been doing it for years. Maybe I do art to balance it out.

  

  Jason Mraz
  • Art
  • Brain
  • Poetry

• The gains in the economy are being translated into gains for workers as well. The numbers confirm that 2006 got off to a strong start for America's workers.

  

  Elaine Chao
  • America
  • Strong
  • Start

• Let the trumpet of the day of judgment sound when it will, I shall appear with this book in my hand before the Sovereign Judge, and cry with a loud voice, This is my work, there were my thoughts, and thus was I. I have freely told both the good and the bad, have hid nothing wicked, added nothing good.

  

  Jean-Jacques Rousseau
  • Good
  • Work
  • Book

• I used to try and concentrate the poem so much that there wasn't a word that wasn't essential. This leads to becoming boring and constipated.

  

  W. H. Auden

• I saw Madeleine Stowe from Revenge recently, and she totally blew me away. And growing up I loved Morticia Addams and Lily Munster on one hand, and Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie on the other. Two completely different ends of the spectrum, kind of like me.

  

  Sarah Shahi
  • Different
  • Dream
  • Kind

• I always think under par. You have to believe in yourself.

  

  Sergio Garcia
  • Believe

• I'm the female Jay-Z. I never compared myself to other women artists. I compared myself with the best, and the best is Jay-Z.

  

  Estelle
  • Artists
  • Female
  • Compared

• There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican Senate candidates have performed better than they have in years. For the moment, today, as you read this, the Democratic candidates are the jokes.

  

  Matthew Continetti
  • Time
  • Republicans
  • Plenty

• Republicans advising candidates to "grab onto the best elements of [his] anti-Washington populist agenda," but warning that Trump is a "misguided missile," "subject to farcical fits" and candidates should avoid getting drawn into "every Trump dust-up," but should quickly condemn some of his comments, including "wacky things about women."

  

  Dalia Mogahed
  • Republicans
  • Candidates
  • Advising

• The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

  

  Kinky Friedman
  • Guy
  • Republicans
  • Democrats

• The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

  

  Andy Borowitz
  • Republicans
  • Liked
  • Baby Jesus