Andy Borowitz Quotes
The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
Quotes to Explore
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One reason we love fiction is because stories have a comforting shape. They provide a resolution that's lacking in our regular lives.
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There is another old poet whose name I do not now remember who said, 'Truth is the daughter of Time.'
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When you've grown sick of reading and bug-eyed from watching TV, when your friends are all visited out, no words can adequately praise the link to the outside world provided by your parents and family.
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If the lives of men can be measured in terms of years, ideologies in decades, and nations in centuries, then the unit measuring civilizations, born of the interaction among peoples, would be the millennium.
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Any threat to the health and safety of a child in any school or classroom is unacceptable.
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I was afraid the other musicians might want to present themselves too much, though I see in the coverage I've received of the album that the musicians got wonderful reviews for their contributions and abilities. I think the four musicians played freely within my limits.
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You can't hit what you can't see.
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I am not interested in the afterlife. Religion is supposed to be about losing your ego, not preserving it eternally in optimum conditions.
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I've taken clowns into the war in Bosnia, the refugee camps of Kosovo, and none of those are any more important than clowning in a subway or an elevator or just walking down the street.
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I was really ambitious, so I was innovative. I was one of the first DJs to do live calls, 'cause I found this phone device that would pick up other people's voices.
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I don't go to the sale rack. But I wouldn't say I am decadent in my spending. I am careful.
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Comedy arises out of necessity, because some things are so dark that you have to laugh about it.
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It is better for the Arab countries themselves to interfere out of their national, humanitarian, political and military duties and to do what is necessary to stop the bloodshed in Syria.
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A creature that cannot grasp the mutual exclusiveness of A and not A has no difficulty in lying; more than that, such a creature has not even any consciousness of lying, being without a standard of truth.
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Every time a man is begotten and born, the clock of human life is wound up anew to repeat once more its same old tune that has already been played innumerable times, movement by movement and measure by measure, with insignificant variations.
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No nation ever yet found any inconvenience from too close an inspection into the conduct of its officers, but many have been brought to ruin and reduced to slavery by suffering gradual impositions and abuses.
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After holding hearings to get input from Missourians, I led the fight to pass legislation that protects seniors from predatory lending in the mortgage industry. I stood up against efforts that would make it harder for seniors to vote, and battled telemarketers bent on defrauding seniors.
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A lot of people have told me along the way that my style and the music I do... is unmarketable. But the only reason I'm successful is because I have stayed true to myself.
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I grew up in Illinois.
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The facts speak only when the historian calls on them: it is he who decides to which facts to give the floor, and in what order or context.
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That's really what drew me into wrestling. To see my own uncle put on the mask every Friday to go into the ring, and me putting on his masks to play wrestle with him. It was a whole different world when it came down to sports.
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You affect your subconscious mind by verbal repetition.
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There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church - which is, of course, quite a different thing.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
