Andy Borowitz Quotes
The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
Quotes to Explore
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One reason we love fiction is because stories have a comforting shape. They provide a resolution that's lacking in our regular lives.
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There is another old poet whose name I do not now remember who said, 'Truth is the daughter of Time.'
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When you've grown sick of reading and bug-eyed from watching TV, when your friends are all visited out, no words can adequately praise the link to the outside world provided by your parents and family.
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If the lives of men can be measured in terms of years, ideologies in decades, and nations in centuries, then the unit measuring civilizations, born of the interaction among peoples, would be the millennium.
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Any threat to the health and safety of a child in any school or classroom is unacceptable.
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I was afraid the other musicians might want to present themselves too much, though I see in the coverage I've received of the album that the musicians got wonderful reviews for their contributions and abilities. I think the four musicians played freely within my limits.
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You can't hit what you can't see.
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I am not interested in the afterlife. Religion is supposed to be about losing your ego, not preserving it eternally in optimum conditions.
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I've taken clowns into the war in Bosnia, the refugee camps of Kosovo, and none of those are any more important than clowning in a subway or an elevator or just walking down the street.
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I was really ambitious, so I was innovative. I was one of the first DJs to do live calls, 'cause I found this phone device that would pick up other people's voices.
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I don't go to the sale rack. But I wouldn't say I am decadent in my spending. I am careful.
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Comedy arises out of necessity, because some things are so dark that you have to laugh about it.
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It is better for the Arab countries themselves to interfere out of their national, humanitarian, political and military duties and to do what is necessary to stop the bloodshed in Syria.
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A creature that cannot grasp the mutual exclusiveness of A and not A has no difficulty in lying; more than that, such a creature has not even any consciousness of lying, being without a standard of truth.
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No nation ever yet found any inconvenience from too close an inspection into the conduct of its officers, but many have been brought to ruin and reduced to slavery by suffering gradual impositions and abuses.
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After holding hearings to get input from Missourians, I led the fight to pass legislation that protects seniors from predatory lending in the mortgage industry. I stood up against efforts that would make it harder for seniors to vote, and battled telemarketers bent on defrauding seniors.
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A lot of people have told me along the way that my style and the music I do... is unmarketable. But the only reason I'm successful is because I have stayed true to myself.
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Among my dad's generation, when you gave another man a pocketknife as a gift, it was a show of respect. I'll still give someone the knife out of my pocket.
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Something struck me in Africa, in black Africa, where polygamy is legal: the solitary woman is the rule there, from at an extremely young age, and the children are always the mother's responsibility.
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Many a man's strength is in opposition, and when he faileth, he grows out of use.
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When Europeans came upon real ruined cities they refused to believe that they had been built by Africans. Here the past has been distorted and denied.
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Religious people are simply following major core practices of happy people. For example, one benefits from the guaranteed social support that can be found in a church, synagogue, or mosque.
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It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
