Ben Miller Quotes
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Ricky Gervais has jokes about people with disabilities, but do I think that's a healthy thing? Yes, I really do, because he's chosen his targets very carefully, and he's thought about what he's doing.
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I slept on a friend's kitchen floor for a year and a half.
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I did a very stupid diet where you have three food groups, and you never eat them together. It's so bloody tedious; I'm losing the will to live just describing it. I managed to stay very thin because you spent your life wandering around starving hungry looking for a chickpea to go with a chicken leg.
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I'm prepared to try to talk to a very beautiful girl. I learned a fantastic secret, which is that the most beautiful woman in the room is not being spoken to because she's too intimidating. They're not looking for somebody beautiful; they're looking for somebody to amuse them.
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Galactic plankton is undoubtedly out there, but it's statistically highly likely there's also another intelligent civilisation out there somewhere. Unfortunately, the distances and time differences are so great, communication might remain impossible.
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Prostate cancer has taken a lot from me. First it took my grandfather and then my dad.
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
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Steroids are not healthy, ... There's a real health issue with steroid abuse. At any level, but particularly a young age level. There are many adverse health effects so I think it's a concern we have to take as a college-level group.
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My kids are blissfully unaware of anything I do. I asked my four-year-old, Harrison, what I did, and he said, 'You're an electrician.' He must have seen me changing a lightbulb.
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For my mother, everything stands in relation to her Welshness; the fact she married an Englishman seems to be something of an issue. She's kind of anti-English... anti-imperialist.
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Initially, the best thing about being in L.A. was the girls - they loved me. It was like being a pop star.
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I was on holiday in Ibiza, having a lovely time, writing a book and looking at the stars every night and generally not having a care in the world. Then I got sent the script for 'Death in Paradise.' I couldn't get back to England in time for the auditions, so my girlfriend filmed me on her camera, and I sent it off via email.
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I get dissatisfied really easily, and I have to constantly keep moving; I have to constantly keep doing things. I find it very hard to switch off.
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Everything in politics is so stage-managed.
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One of the saddest things I've ever done is download 'I'm A Teenage Dirtbag' by Wheatus and play along with it with my headphones on. Oh, God. If you were to walk in and see me do that, you would really worry for me.
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On 'Death In Paradise,' I had a CGI pet lizard and had to react to nothing, which was hideously embarrassing.
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I adored 'Drop the Dead Donkey.' That show defined Channel 4 at the time; it was so inventive and off the leash.
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I've never really had a plan. You never know what's going to happen.
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I work out in the Caribbean for half the year, playing a detective who's really into science. Anybody who knows me will tell you that's a dream come true. But it's tough for my family. We only get to see each other every two and a half to three weeks.
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We all know to eat green vegetables and oily fish, but who does that? I'll have a cake, thanks.
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My enthusiasm for L.A. stems from my father, who was a lecturer in American literature at the University of Birmingham. Through his work, our family did several house swaps with L.A. families. It was a dreadfully daring thing to do in the early 1980s; there was no Internet, so you had no idea of what you were getting into.
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'Death In Paradise' is my dream job - a fascinating character, great scripts, superb cast, and shooting in the Caribbean with French catering.
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As a committed Whovian, I cannot believe my luck in joining the Twelfth Doctor for one of his inaugural adventures. My only worry is that they'll make me leave the set when I'm not filming.
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My father was always clowning around. It was a huge influence on me. In my family, everything is turned into a joke.