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If you want to be alive, you can’t avoid pain.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
One of my roommates, Rafael, he's an expert on monsters. Not that he talks about them. I can just tell. People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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But there she was, sobbing for Yolie, and he wondered why some people stayed soft no matter what happened to them.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I do not know what it means to be okay. I have never known and maybe I will never know. Okay is just a word I use so I won't have to talk about what's inside. Okay is a word that means I am going to keep my secrets.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
That was the first time that I really saw my mother as a person. A person who was so much more than just my mother. It was strange to think of her that way.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
When I hung up the phone, I felt a little sad. And a little happy. For a few minutes I wished that Dante and I lived in the universe of boys instead of the universe of almost-men.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I hated being volunteered. The problem with my life was that it was someone else's idea.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Words were not things you could control. Not always.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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What did school matter compared to a sister?
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I’ll leave a note to the rector of the cathedral and remind him that a woman gave him birth. Something for him to think about the next time he gives one of his sermons. I’m writing all this down.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Her fading voice was the one I heard the loudest.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
One summer night I fell asleep hoping the world would be different when I woke. In the morning, when I opened my eyes, the world was the same.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
My mother watched me. It was true. I had never loved her more.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Some day we’ll all be happy. I promise you. And there won’t be any more fighting.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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You know, the thing about not talking very much is that people think you’re mature. They make things up about you.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I had this image stuck in my mind. I was four and I was walking down the street, holding my brother’s hand. I wondered if it was a memory or a dream. Or a hope.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Dogs don't censor themselves. Maybe animals were smarter than people. The dog was so happy. My mom and dad too. It felt good to know that they loved the dog, that they let themselves do that. And somehow it seemed that the dog helped us be a better family.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
It made me smile, the way they got along, the easy and affectionate way they talked to each other as if love between a father and a son was simple and uncomplicated. My mom and I, sometimes what we had was easy and uncomplicated. Sometimes. But me and my dad, we didn't have that. I wondered what that would be like, to walk into a room and kiss my father.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
We work together in publishing--big publishers, small publishers. We are a community and must think of ourselves as a community, instead of being in love with the idea of the talented individual. Language belongs to us.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I wondered what that was like, to hold someone’s hand. I bet you could sometimes find all of the mysteries of the universe in someone’s hand.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I keep that memory somewhere inside me—where it’s safe. I take it out and look at it when I need to. As if it were a photograph.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
There were so many ghosts in our house - the ghost of my brother, the ghost of my father's war, the ghost of my sister's voices. And I thought that maybe there were ghosts inside of me that I hadn't even met yet. They werer there. Lying in wait.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Even though summers were mostly made of sun and heat, summers for me were about the storms that came and went. And left me feeling alone. Did all boys feel alone? The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Dad read the sports page. My theory was that he kept up with the sports world in order to be able to have a decent conversation with his brothers—that was the way he loved them.
Benjamin Alire Saenz