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We are all collateral damage for someone's beautiful Ideology, all of us inanimate in the face of the onslaught.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
And then everyone in the room started laughing. My dad and my uncles and aunts - if there's one thing they knew how to do, it was laugh. My dad called that sort of behaviour whistling in the dark. Well, I guess that when you found yourself in the dark, you might as well whistle. It wasn't always going to be morning , and darkness would come around again. The sun would rise, and then the sun would set. And there you were in the darkness again. If you didn't whistle, the quiet and the dark would swallow you up.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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All I knew is that sometimes my father was sad. I hated that he was sad. It made me sad too. I didn't like sad.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I had a rule that it was better to be bored by yourself than to be bored with someone else. I pretty much lived by that rule. Maybe that's why I didn't have any friends.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
We'd been so sure of ourselves, but now we were lost.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
On the outside, he was back to his old self. Only, I knew there was a wound living inside him, and that wound wasn’t going away anytime soon.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
He’d run and run until his heart burst into flames. And he would become nothing but ash. No body, no heart, no bone, no flesh—just carbon matter scattering in the wind.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
People talk to dogs. Not that they understand. But maybe they understand enough.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Our parents are really weird. Because they love us? That’s not so weird. It’s how they love us that’s weird.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I felt alone, but not in a bad way. I really liked being alone. Maybe I liked it too much.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
She was hard as stone. And I hated her. I think I still hate her. Though in between then and now, I loved her. I would have done anything for her. And I did. I did everything she asked.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Your pain’s become the only light you know. You want to punish yourself. You think your life has to be a tragedy.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Sometimes when people talk, they don't always tell the truth.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
For no reason at all, he thought that she looked like a nun. The beautiful kind. The kind that gave and gave because that’s what they knew how to do. And the giving made them more beautiful.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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The thing is I love my dad. My mom too. And I keep wondering what they're going to say when I tell them that someday I want to marry a boy. I wonder how that's going to go over? i'm the only son. What's going to happen with the grandchildren thing? I hat that I'm going to disappoint them, Ari. I know I've disappointed you too.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
He was still experimenting with kissing girls even though he said he'd rather be kissing boys. That's exactly what he said. I didn't know exactly what to think about that, but Dante was going to be Dante and it I was going to be his friend, I would just have to learn to be okay with it.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
But he didn’t know exactly where the worry was coming from. He just had a feeling. Like thunder in the sky. Only the thunder was in his stomach. There would be a storm.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
That’s how she loved people—by feeding them.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
You are what you remember.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Scars. A sign that you've been hurt. A sign that you have been healed. Had I been hurt? Had I been healed? Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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A girl is like a tree? Yeah, and a guy is about as smart as a piece of dead wood infested with termites.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I don't like remembering. Remembering makes me feel things. I don't like to feel things. I'm thinking I could spend the rest of my life becoming an expert at forgetting
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I knew I’d gone crazy but I couldn’t explain it to myself. Maybe that’s what happens when you go crazy. You just can’t explain it. Not to yourself. Not to anyone. And the worst part about going crazy is that when you’re not crazy anymore, you just don’t know what to think of yourself.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
His shoes on the front porch before he came inside. The Japanese do that. They don’t bring the dirt of the world into another person’s house.
Benjamin Alire Saenz