Carrot Top Quotes
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In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?'
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I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.
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People always say to me, Youre really attractive - in an unusual way. No one ever just says, Youre attractive.
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The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.
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I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
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My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.
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Me in drag is kind of scary, actually. It's frightening. I actually look pretty good.
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I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
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When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
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I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.
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I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.
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I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
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When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.
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Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'
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On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.
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I would like to be someone like Steve Martin. That's the path I'd like to follow.
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I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I'm at home and it's dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.
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My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.
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Some people don't realize that I've had a career pre-commercials.
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I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics.
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Comics don't like to see other comics do well.
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I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.
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My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.