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Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's probably nothing. But I've had "nothing" for too long, and I'm ready for something. Anything.
Beth Revis -
It Will be better to die quickly with only the taste of freedom on our lips than to live long lives pretending not to see the walls that imprison us.
Beth Revis
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I am as silent as death. Do this: Go to your bedroom. Your nice, safe, warm bedroom that is not a glass coffin behind a morgue door. Lie down on your bed not made of ice. Stick your fingers in your ears. Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. Because what if I am dead? How can someone without a beating heart, without breathing lungs live like I do? I must be dead. And this is my greatest fear: After 301 years, when they pull my glass coffin from this morgue, and they let my body thaw like chicken meat on the kitchen counter, I will be just like I am now. I will spend all of eternity trapped in my dead body. There is nothing beyond this. I will be locked within myself forever. And I want to scream. I want to throw open my eyes wake up and not be alone with myself anymore, but I can't. I can't.
Beth Revis -
I open my mouth. I want o say: I'm breaking, and i need someone to hold me together. But no sound comes out.
Beth Revis -
But how can I be disappointed in space?
Beth Revis -
You could drop me anywhere in the universe, blindfolded, and I'd know this was his room just from the smell.
Beth Revis -
Words are powerful things. They can start—or end—wars. People believe in words. They are the fundamental expression of ourselves, the division between human and not, the means by which we learn. And while people use words to teach, to express art, to proclaim truths, at the most basic level, people use words to simply say: I am here.
Beth Revis -
If we don't have that, what do we have to live for? Does it matter if it's a lie if it keeps us alive?
Beth Revis
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When I look at the fields, all I can see is how fake they are, how poor an imitation they are of the pictures of Sol-Earth fields. And that's why I'll never be as good an Eldest as he is. Because I like a little chaos.
Beth Revis -
But death doesn't work like that. It doesn't care if someone loves you, doesn't want you to go. It just takes. It takes and it takes until eventually you have nothing left.
Beth Revis -
I can't be the kind of leader you want me to. I will never, ever be the kind of leader you want me to be. And I will be better because of it.
Beth Revis -
Of everyone on this ship, even the frozen bodies of my parents, Elder's the only one who handed me truth and waited for me to accept it.
Beth Revis -
And I try to remember if this happened before, because this is a memory I would want to keep. But there is no echo of it in my mind.
Beth Revis -
Like walking through water. Like drowning.
Beth Revis
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Why wouldn’t it be the government? It’s not like we have a perfectly operational terrorist group right here to do it.
Beth Revis -
The three hardest parts of writing a novel are writing the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Beth Revis -
I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.
Beth Revis -
Is almost a good enough reason for fear?
Beth Revis -
But i don't care. Because we can say them or not; it doesn't matter. What is in our heats is real whether we name it or let it exist only in darkness and silence.
Beth Revis -
And there is nothing between us but rain. Then there is nothing between us at all.
Beth Revis
-
For a moment, he looks back at me, and his farewell is in his smile. Then he turns to the stars. And he is gone.
Beth Revis -
This is what I'm king of: a whirling mass of humans who either hate me or ignore me.
Beth Revis -
People will survive anything for their children.
Beth Revis -
But Harley has always been this way, for as long as I've known him: he thinks ignorance is the best way to protect someone, and he doesn't understand that what we imagine is often worse than the truth.
Beth Revis