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I stare at the stars... And even though there are so many and they look so close together, I know they are light years apart. The glitter in the sky looks as if I could scoop it all up in my hands and let the stars swirl and touch one another, but they are so distant, so very far apart, that they cannot feel the warmth of each other, even though they are made of burning. This is the secret of the stars, I tell myself. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you.
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But how can I be disappointed in space?
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A few months ago, I would have thrown this book down in disgust and walked away—maybe even returned home, where the only books I knew reminded me of my father. But now… My fingers wrapped around the spine of the book. Now I was willing to try anything.
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This is... mating, it's not love.
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Family is never really gone.
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Holding Amy against me, I realize the simple truth is that power isn't control at all - power is strength, and giving that strength to others.
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But, really, grief left a hole in you, and while you healed around the hole, you never didn't have it. A piece of you was gone. You couldn't heal something that wasn't there.
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A splatter of rain on my skin, but its bright and sunny under the blue sky and Jason's there, and we almost kiss but everything changes and were at that party where we met.
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There are countless reasons to be jealous. But that doesn’t mean you have to succumb to them.
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It's not knowing that's killing me. Not knowing if there's a chance that something can change, not knowing if there's hope at all.
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We’re so close we could touch. All it would take is for me to reach out my hand. But neither of us makes a move.
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It’s not selfish to be yourself and pursue your dreams.
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You can burn fear away after every nightmare you've ever had comes true.
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It Will be better to die quickly with only the taste of freedom on our lips than to live long lives pretending not to see the walls that imprison us.
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Why wouldn’t it be the government? It’s not like we have a perfectly operational terrorist group right here to do it.
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The truth is, sometimes siblings have nothing in common but blood...Sometimes you stay up late at night, thinking things that make you feel like a heartless monster, wishing for something different and then feeling sick with guilt because you know what the cost of "different" would be...There's a difference between having no siblings and having a broken one.
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I am as silent as death. Do this: Go to your bedroom. Your nice, safe, warm bedroom that is not a glass coffin behind a morgue door. Lie down on your bed not made of ice. Stick your fingers in your ears. Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. Because what if I am dead? How can someone without a beating heart, without breathing lungs live like I do? I must be dead. And this is my greatest fear: After 301 years, when they pull my glass coffin from this morgue, and they let my body thaw like chicken meat on the kitchen counter, I will be just like I am now. I will spend all of eternity trapped in my dead body. There is nothing beyond this. I will be locked within myself forever. And I want to scream. I want to throw open my eyes wake up and not be alone with myself anymore, but I can't. I can't.
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When I look at the fields, all I can see is how fake they are, how poor an imitation they are of the pictures of Sol-Earth fields. And that's why I'll never be as good an Eldest as he is. Because I like a little chaos.
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People will survive anything for their children.
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It was to apologize, and apologizing means he remembers what happened, and that means being trapped in a nightmare that’s already come true.
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More than the sound of my own beating heart, I miss the sound of a ticking clock. Time passes, it must pass, but I have no more assurance of moving through time than I have that I am moving through space. In a way, I’m glad: this means perhaps 300 years and 364 days have passed, and tomorrow I will wake up. Sometimes after a cross-country meet or a long day at school, I’d fall into bed with all my clothes on and be out before I knew it. When I’d finally open my eyes, it would feel like I’d just shut them for a minute, but really, the whole rest of the day and half the night was gone. But. There were other times when I’d collapse onto my mattress, shut my eyes and dream, and it felt like I’d lived a whole lifetime in that dream, but when I woke up, it had only been a few minutes. What if only a year has gone by? What if we haven’t even left yet? That is my greatest fear.
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I will never, never be the same. I have seen stars. Real stars.
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I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.
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I would use the same word to describe both my joy and the rain: torrential. This—this—this is all I ever wanted from the world: wide-open spaces and cooling rain and the chance to run.