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I’m just me, and me is confusing.
Bill Konigsberg -
Some things you remember, and some you forget. Of the things you remember, you have to wonder what’s real and what’s translated into a memory from a story you heard.
Bill Konigsberg
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Anyway, my whole thing is, whatever path I'm on, I'm on. I'm not going to avoid it because it's harder for the world, or even harder for me. I'm like, I gotta be me, you know?
Bill Konigsberg -
Like, did you know that LGBT kids are 8.4 times more likely than straight kids to attempt suicide? And 50 percent of LGBT kids are rejected by their parents? That between 20 and 40 percent of homeless teens say they’re gay, lesbian, or transgender, and that up to 50 percent of the guy teens have sold their bodies to support themselves?
Bill Konigsberg -
The world will make you vulnerable. If you’re acting like you’re not, that’s what you’re doing. Acting.
Bill Konigsberg -
Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where no one thought being gay was even something to ride someone about?
Bill Konigsberg -
And perhaps the best answer is not to tolerate differences, not even to accept them. But to celebrate them. Maybe then those who are different would feel more loved, and less, well, tolerated.
Bill Konigsberg -
That was a level of commitment I’d never be able to understand, and I wished there was something out there I felt so strongly about I’d willingly die for it.
Bill Konigsberg
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We’d sleep in the same bed for a year, and finally we’d do it, but we’d never talk about it, ever, and then Ben would get married and I’d be killed in Texas.
Bill Konigsberg -
And I felt so foreign, lying there, the wind howling outside our window. What was I doing here? Who was Rafe, really? Can you just put a part of yourself on hold? And if you do, does it cease to be true? Straight people have it so much easier. They don’t understand. They can’t. There’s no such thing as openly straight.
Bill Konigsberg -
Lean forward, and head on down the mountain.
Bill Konigsberg -
I was thinking about how snakes shed their skin every year, and how awesome it would be if people did that too. In lots of ways, that’s what I was trying to do.
Bill Konigsberg -
Mom always says all sorts of shit goes down in the world, and it’s up to me to decide how to take it. The one way you’re sure to be unhappy is to frown your way through life, she says, and she’s right. Always look for the bright, vibrant color through the darkness. It’s always there, but sometimes hard to see.
Bill Konigsberg -
Having no room of my own to "take care of things" had begun to weigh on me. I wondered if storing up semen would have a health impact on me, positive or negative, like shinier hair or weight gain.
Bill Konigsberg
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Guilt is about something you do. Shame is about who you are.
Bill Konigsberg -
I turned to Rafe and swam (and sunk) in his hazel eyes.
Bill Konigsberg -
The idea that because things are worse somewhere else, you’re not allowed to have issues in your life. That’s what people who are trying to avoid having normal feelings say.
Bill Konigsberg -
But I do think that when we choose the easy path, where people or society reward us for being what they want us to be, against who we really are, a kind of death occurs. To the soul.
Bill Konigsberg -
Guilt, she’d explained, was useful because a person could learn from it and do the right thing next time. Shame, on the other hand, was useless.
Bill Konigsberg -
I mean, if you accept something, you take it for what it is. Tolerance is different. Less.
Bill Konigsberg
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The hole in my heart, I can’t even begin to describe. It’s hard when you open your heart and let someone in and then suddenly they’re not in it anymore. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is; that empty spot stings so bad that you want to find any kind of relief, or wrap yourself up so tight you can’t feel it anymore. I knew it might be there a little while. Or maybe even a long while. For both of us.
Bill Konigsberg -
Vulnerability is allowing people to see you exactly as you are, which is really hard, because when you’re vulnerable you can get hurt. Most people armor up with bravado or something, but those people are missing out, because without allowing yourself to be vulnerable, it’s tough to have, like, any emotional experience at all. Letting people in is really vulnerable, and most people—especially introverts—have trouble.
Bill Konigsberg -
You can be anything you want, but when you go against who you are inside, it doesn't feel good.
Bill Konigsberg -
As I opened the car door and stepped back into the chilly night, I was thinking that maybe the key to life is to have goldfish memories. So you can’t remember the time a friend hurt you. So you can give second and third and even fourth chances. To yourself too. Because sometimes it takes multiple.
Bill Konigsberg