Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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Bread that must be sliced with an ax is bread that is too nourishing.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
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Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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You're only as good as your last haircut.