-
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
-
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz -
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz -
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
Fran Lebowitz
-
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran Lebowitz -
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz -
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz -
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz -
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz -
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz
-
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz -
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz -
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz -
Nothing succeeds like address.
Fran Lebowitz -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
-
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz -
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz -
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
Fran Lebowitz