Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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Bread that must be sliced with an ax is bread that is too nourishing.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.