Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
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Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It’s my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they’re apparently also not good enough to be shorter.
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Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
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I doubt there’s ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.