Fran Lebowitz Quotes
-
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
-
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
-
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
-
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
-
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
-
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
-
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
-
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
-
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
-
Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
-
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
-
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
-
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-
Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
-
Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
-
Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It’s my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they’re apparently also not good enough to be shorter.
-
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
-
I doubt there’s ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
-
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
-
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.