Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
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Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It’s my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they’re apparently also not good enough to be shorter.
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Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
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Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
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Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.
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I doubt there’s ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.