Brett Gelman Quotes
I've definitely seen people get angry or really uncomfortable with stuff I've made in the past. And my stand-up, if you could call what I do stand-up, is quite aggressive, too.
Quotes to Explore
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If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing.
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When you are at the bottom, you find beauty in such little things, and goodness in such little gestures. When I compare any struggle today to ones that I may have had in my childhood, there is nothing that can bring me down.
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Pride is pleasure arising from a man's thinking too highly of himself.
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Any woman who diets all the time can't help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.
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So I felt, well, I'll make the money and, with the money, do what I want to do.
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Mulberry Street was the beating heart of the Italian-American experience, but you don't find those gangsters now. I live with a bunch of yuppies and models.
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If we knew about the real facts and statistics of mortality, we'd be terrified.
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Well, it is curious what lasts and what doesn't. Publishing empires and whatnot would pay anything to figure it out. But they can't figure it out.
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Do I believe in coupling? Do I believe in commitment? Do I believe in co-parenting, raising children together, having a family, and growing old with someone? I absolutely believe in all of those things. I just don't believe that you need to be married to do that. I love going to weddings, though. I do love a good wedding.
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Despotism is the only form of government which may with safety to itself, neglect the education of its infant poor.
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I don't think France is a racist country, I really don't, but we do still have many problems with our immigrant past, and there's a shame that goes with that, that works both ways, in the host and in the post-immigrant generation.
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Not in the mornings, I'm always so tired in the morning.
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Love is an affection which carries the attention of the mind beyond itself, and is the sense of a relation to some fellow creature as to its object.
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But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts.She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers,Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and findThat what you're lookin' for has been here the whole time.If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,Been here all along so why can't you see?You belong with me;You belong with me.
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We don’t forgive being as we are.
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My father was a Baptist preacher, and he used to read the King James Bible to me every single morning. He made me memorize it and repeat verses at night before I went to sleep.
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If you have been divorced once - male or female, but especially for females - and you're over 40 you're actually a commodity. It means you were able to commit once, and you'll do it again.
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The Congress has tasked the Federal Reserve with achieving stable prices and maximum employment - the dual mandate.
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I hate small talk! I can't do it.
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For me, Paul Simon has always been an incredible songwriter, as he writes very complicated songs that sound very simple, and he makes it look so easy when it's not.
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I think that's one of the reasons it's nice to leave out a lot; it can become a lot more personal to people if there is room for them to put their own experiential time track on it.”
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I was born behind the Iron Curtain, and I remember heated discussions about large-scale terra-forming projects, such as reversing the direction of the river Ob or putting up large reflectors into space to heat up Siberia.
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I've definitely seen people get angry or really uncomfortable with stuff I've made in the past. And my stand-up, if you could call what I do stand-up, is quite aggressive, too.
