Brett Gelman Quotes
I've definitely seen people get angry or really uncomfortable with stuff I've made in the past. And my stand-up, if you could call what I do stand-up, is quite aggressive, too.

Quotes to Explore
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If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing.
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When you are at the bottom, you find beauty in such little things, and goodness in such little gestures. When I compare any struggle today to ones that I may have had in my childhood, there is nothing that can bring me down.
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Pride is pleasure arising from a man's thinking too highly of himself.
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Any woman who diets all the time can't help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.
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Mulberry Street was the beating heart of the Italian-American experience, but you don't find those gangsters now. I live with a bunch of yuppies and models.
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If we knew about the real facts and statistics of mortality, we'd be terrified.
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Well, it is curious what lasts and what doesn't. Publishing empires and whatnot would pay anything to figure it out. But they can't figure it out.
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Do I believe in coupling? Do I believe in commitment? Do I believe in co-parenting, raising children together, having a family, and growing old with someone? I absolutely believe in all of those things. I just don't believe that you need to be married to do that. I love going to weddings, though. I do love a good wedding.
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Despotism is the only form of government which may with safety to itself, neglect the education of its infant poor.
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I don't think France is a racist country, I really don't, but we do still have many problems with our immigrant past, and there's a shame that goes with that, that works both ways, in the host and in the post-immigrant generation.
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Not in the mornings, I'm always so tired in the morning.
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Love is an affection which carries the attention of the mind beyond itself, and is the sense of a relation to some fellow creature as to its object.
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But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts.She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers,Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and findThat what you're lookin' for has been here the whole time.If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,Been here all along so why can't you see?You belong with me;You belong with me.
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We don’t forgive being as we are.
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My father was a Baptist preacher, and he used to read the King James Bible to me every single morning. He made me memorize it and repeat verses at night before I went to sleep.
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If you have been divorced once - male or female, but especially for females - and you're over 40 you're actually a commodity. It means you were able to commit once, and you'll do it again.
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The Congress has tasked the Federal Reserve with achieving stable prices and maximum employment - the dual mandate.
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I hate small talk! I can't do it.
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Poetry is something I love to do. Good poetry has an amazing ability to be communicative before it's even understood. I get emotional just from the beauty of words.
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Independent content these days can be more successful than previously because of the power of social media. However, there are still systems in place to make sure independent artists don't get as far as signed ones.
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After hearing the evidence, I will record a verdict of natural causes.
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It is generally supposed that complete pleasure of this kind, permeating one's very flesh and bones, unfits the student for scientific pursuits in which cool judgment and observation are required. But the effect is just the opposite. Instead of producing a dissipated condition, the mind is fertilized and stimulated and developed like sun-fed plants.
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I'm social and I meet people and talk to people but I'm not looking for the ideal person to fit my mold and to raise my family with yet. I'm just kind of doing my thing and learning from the people I'm around and who I cross paths with.
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I've definitely seen people get angry or really uncomfortable with stuff I've made in the past. And my stand-up, if you could call what I do stand-up, is quite aggressive, too.