Zach Braff Quotes
- All Quotes
-
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
-
It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.
-
You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the only role you can play well is a black dude, you're never going to get ahead in this town, and you should just accept it.
-
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
-
It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.
-
When I played the Shins, I changed someone's life. When I play Belle and Sebastian in a pivotal scene in my next movie...well, let's just say I made sure I that I can't be held legally responsible for all the deaths people will suffer out of shock upon hearing them. They're a terrific band.
-
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
-
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
-
I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
-
I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
-
I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
-
The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.
-
Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
-
Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
-
It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
-
It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
-
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.
-
I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
-
I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?
-
If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
-
When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
-
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
-
When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
-
Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.