Zach Braff Quotes
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Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
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I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
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Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.
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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
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Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
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If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.
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It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
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When I played the Shins, I changed someone's life. When I play Belle and Sebastian in a pivotal scene in my next movie...well, let's just say I made sure I that I can't be held legally responsible for all the deaths people will suffer out of shock upon hearing them. They're a terrific band.
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People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
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You know how they do that effect in movies, where they make it look like you have a twin, but it's really just the same actor playing both characters in the scene? I knew this would be the best route, but I just wasn't comfortable dressing as a woman, so I had to hire other actors.
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You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the only role you can play well is a black dude, you're never going to get ahead in this town, and you should just accept it.
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People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.
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I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
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So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
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It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.