P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
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He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.
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I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
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It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did.
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His eyes were rolling in their sockets, and his face had taken on the colour and expression of a devout tomato. I could see he loved like a thousand bricks.
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'Work, the what's-its-name of the thingummy and the thing-um-a-bob of the what d'you-call-it.'
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Oh, Bertie, if I ever called you a brainless poop who ought to be given a scholarship at some lunatic asylum, I take back the words.
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A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.
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The village of Market Blandings is one of those sleepy hamlets which modern progress has failed to touch... The church is Norman, and the intelligence of the majority of the natives palaeozoic.
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The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.
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I believe there are two ways of writing novels. One is mine, making a sort of musical comedy without music and ignoring real life altogether; the other is going right deep down into life and not caring a damn.
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‘As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn’t detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.’
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He vanished abruptly, like an eel going into mud.
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As far as the eye could reach, I found myself gazing on a surging sea of aunts. There were tall aunts, short aunts, stout aunts, thin aunts, and an aunt who was carrying on a conversation in a low voice to which nobody seemed to be paying the slightest attention.
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The light from the big window fell right on the picture. I took a good look at it. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn't seemed quite so bad from there.
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She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
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There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
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of Spode He was, as I had already been able to perceive, a breath-taking cove. About seven feet in height, and swathed in a plaid ulster which made him look about six feet across, he caught the eye and arrested it. It was as if Nature had intended to make a gorilla and had changed its mind at the last moment.
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I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back.
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Then he rose and began to pace the room in an overwrought sort of way, like a zoo lion who has heard the dinner-gong go and is hoping the keeper won't forget him in the general distribution.
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...his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.
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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
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It began to be borne in upon Lord Ickenham that in planning to appeal to the Duke’s better feelings he had omitted to take into his calculations the fact that he might not have any.