P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
-
However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.
-
Then he rose and began to pace the room in an overwrought sort of way, like a zoo lion who has heard the dinner-gong go and is hoping the keeper won't forget him in the general distribution.
-
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
-
Bingo swayed like a jelly in a high wind.
-
It was one of those days you sometimes get latish in the autumn when the sun beams, the birds toot, and there is a bracing tang in the air that sends the blood beetling briskly through the veins.
-
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
-
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
-
Oh, Bertie, if I ever called you a brainless poop who ought to be given a scholarship at some lunatic asylum, I take back the words.
-
I don't know if you have ever seen a tiger of the jungle drawing a deep breath preparatory to doing a swan dive and landing with both the feet on the backbone of one of the minor fauna. Probably not, nor, as a matter of fact, have I.
-
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
-
As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
-
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
-
‘Don't you like this hat?‘‘No, sir.‘‘Well, I do,‘ I replied rather cleverly, and went out with it tilted just that merest shade over the left eye which makes all the difference.
-
I agreed the situation was sticky. Indeed, offhand it was difficult to see how it could have been more glutinous.
-
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
-
And a moment later there was a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and the relative had crossed the threshold at fifty m.p.h. under her own steam.
-
I goggled. Her words did not appear to make sense. They seemed the mere aimless vapouring of an aunt who has been sitting out in the sun without a hat.
-
There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
-
‘You’re one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It’s a great gift.’
-
'I want to know what the devil you mean by keeping coming into my private apartment, taking up space which I require for other purposes and interrupting me when I am chatting with my personal friends. Really one gets about as much privacy in this house as a strip-tease dancer.'
-
‘As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn’t detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.’
-
I consider that of all the dashed silly, drivelling ideas I ever heard in my puff this is the most blithering and futile. It won't work. Not a chance.
-
I can't stand Paris. I hate the place. Full of people talking French, which is a thing I bar. It always seems to me so affected.
-
Honoria, you see, is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welterweight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge. A beastly thing to face over the breakfast table. Brainy, moreover.